Why do they never reply to me?????
So my skids always go through their Dad rather than answer any of my emails or texts directly. Here's a wonderful example from Father's Day:
My youngest ss23 and his wife and 1yr old son live out of state. They were just out visiting with us last month. When they left there was a box of baby boys clothing left in my guestroom. I asked DH about it after they left and he said he couldn't remember what he was supposed to do with the box again. He wasn't sure if he was supposed to give it back to other ss26 or mail it to ss23. Anyhoo its still in my guestroom so this wkend when I was cleaning the house I saw it. So I texted ss23's wife and asked her nicely, here's the text "Can you plz tell me what is supposed to be done with the box of boys clothes that's in my guest room??. Tnks" sent at 1:45. Awhile later 2:30 or so DH and I are sitting on the porch relaxing and he says did you send ss23 a text? I said no I sent ss23's wife a text. So he proceeds to read a text he got from ss23 telling him to tell me what to do with the box!! I was like why couldn't she/they just text me back? I'm the one that sent the frickin message!! So I told my DH how crappy this situation was. How would they feel if they sent messages and didn't get replies or got a reply from someone else. How stupid is that! Like I'm not worthy of a reply to a simple question. DH wanted to read my text to make sure I hadn't written something that could be misintepreted at their end. He read it and he said no I was very nice in my text and there should be no reason for them to get bent out of shape or anything. I'm so sick of this kind of communication. They wonder why I'm not nicer to them and call or email them. This is why!! I used to send them emails and they would never reply. But when they would send me an email if I didn't reply right away they would call by DH and ask why I hadn't responded. I told my DH this is why I don't like your kids cuz they treat me like this. He just kept shaking his head. He sent a reply text that he meant for it to say I don't know what you are talking about you should text C but he missed a few words in his message so the ss could claim he didn't understand what it meant. I, of course, have never gotten a reply to my text!! I feel like taking the box of clothes and giving it to Goodwill and claim I never heard from them and didn't know what to do with the flippin box so I gave it away. (The box is supposed to go back to ss26's wife). Ironically, this ss claims that he and his wife have no problem with me and like me!! Really?? Sure can't tell can you................
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To be perfectly honest...
To be perfectly honest... maybe because I don't know you, I would have been offended by the tone of your text. If it were me texting and asking I would have said.. "Hi, just wondering what we were supposed to do with the box of clothes in the guest room, DH forgot already!!"
I think it's the "my guest room" part that ruffles my feathers... like you are annoyed that their box is infringing on your space.
This is just my humble opinion of course.
I see your point, it would
I see your point, it would have been better if I had said "the guestroom" rather than "my guestroom" - I didn't catch that when I was reviewing the text message numerous times to be sure it was as neutral as it could be so as not to offend. But don't ya think they could have still replied to me not DH?
Of course considering I'm the one that made sure they had a clean room to use, clean sheets on the bed, towels in the bathroom, and had to clean up the mess they made after they left I think it is safe to say it is "my guestroom" LOL
But don't ya think they could
But don't ya think they could have still replied to me not DH?
YES! I forgot to address that part... even if you ruffled my feathers, I would have responded to your text rather than running and tattling. I mean seriously, they are in their 20's, that is like middle school drama!
StepAside I do see your view
StepAside I do see your view as a skid on this but I don't say "my" stuff etc. when referring to things. I say our stuff or Dad's stuff. The only things that are my stuff are my doll collection and no one in the family cares about them so I don't think that's a problem. The skids have lived with us in our home over the last several years on different occasions. They have used DH's vehicles and trailer to haul stuff several times. So their is no division of my stuff/his stuff in our house. I inadvertently said "my guestroom" when meaning "the guestroom" but the reality is I was asking a rather simple question and I don't understand why the reply couldn't have been sent to me not DH.
I too was thinking it was the
I too was thinking it was the verbage of the text. So much can get lost in translation, espeically if there is already tension in a relationship.
Yes, but this is the skid who
Yes, but this is the skid who claims there is no problem with me on his and his wife's end. So there should be no tension. Obviously that's just what they tell DH but is not actually how they feel about me. Oh well.............
Perceived tone or not, all
Perceived tone or not, all SS's wife had to do was simply answer the text and be done with it. To not even do THAT was beyond silly.
Okay I realize that using the
Okay I realize that using the word "my" may have been a problem on their end. But using my/the/our is purely semantics unless you read more into it the sentence. As I said I read the message quite a few times to make sure it didn't sound offensive but I missed that "my." Frankly, I so agree with Maux that "I'm so sick of worrying whether or not a simple word will offend adult brats. More and more coddling with having to walk on that kind of eggshell...goes on and on..."
But let's be honest here, DIL knew that the burden of dealing with the box would fall on me when she left because DH as a guy doesn't deal with tidying up the house that is normally what the woman of the house does. But the reality is regardless of how my text was perceived a reply should have been sent to me not DH. The fact that I sent the text is very rare as I found in the past that they don't respond to my texts, emails or phone calls. But funny thing is when they send me something, if I don't respond pronto they call DH and ask him to bug me for the answer. It is just stupid, stupid stuff. Very immature!! This just confirms for me to stop all communication with skids and their spouses because it is a minefield that I just don't want to cross anymore.
Truth be told I should have just done what StepAside suggested and avoided the hassle of being ignored.