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Nine years in, it never, EVER ends

colbrek's picture

I'm just so tired. You would think after nine years it would get better, but it never really does. Not when BM is a narcissistic martyr, who "is just doing what's best for xxxx", oh poor me, poor me. No matter what we do, no matter what we buy/don't buy, how much we drive, where we go, what we do, nothing is ever good enough, and she's always so much better and at least every two to three months she finds something to cause trouble about. Some reason to call up and tell him what a terrible father he is coached around just calling to talk about, again, "what's best for xxxxx". I suppose if I'm honest, it probably has gotten better since this was a weekly/daily occurrence when SD was younger. I have no idea how that girl has so far ended up being such a good kid, and live in fear of the time when all the horrible nasty things her mother says about us constantly come home to roost. She's been amazing so far, even fought to stay with us week on/week off rather than the 1/3 of the time that we fought and spent $25,000 through two court cases to get. But hey, we're "all about the money" you know. Hear that all the time, amazingly enough when she wants us to pay for something else. Like $2500 for cheerleading.

Gosh darn, I'm so tired of it. DH said four more years, she'll be 18, we won't have to deal with this. I said really? Wait until she starts messing with your grandkids' heads.

Latest is wanting to take her for a visit to her grandfather in the interior of Mexico. We've never interfered with any type of travel, but taking a beautiful 14 year old OBVIOUSLY American girl across two of the most dangerous states in Mexico is out of the question. I can't believe that over the top protective smothering BM thinks this is no big deal. Swears it's safe, even as we're told they're not sure if they're taking a ratty beat up car or ride the bus, because they're not sure what's safer. That they have to make sure and wear clothes that are older and no jewelry so it looks like they don't have any money, and xxxxx should probably not speak too much because her accent really isn't Mexican anymore as she's gotten older. But don't worry, it's safe. SERIOUSLY??? But of course, we're the horrible ones for not letting her go.

I guess the final topper is if it wasn't for me, I think DH would cave in and let her go because he's so sick of dealing with it. Even though he doesn't think it's safe, said absolutely no at first, he would actually give in rather than stand up to her because she's so over the top about this. If it was anything but SD's safety, I would have said the heck with it already. But putting me in this position isn't fair, as our whole life would be OVER if anything happened to that child.

And you know what, QUIT ARGUING WITH HER!!! Guess what, been away from the psycho for 11 years and that means don't listen to her and hang up the phone. Say there's no discussion, and the next call will be to the lawyers. If I sat and argued with my ex on the phone, no way could DH handle it, he's so protective.

So I'm at a position I've never been at in nine years, upset and thoroughly disappointed in my wonderful husband who I love more than anything on this planet. And isn't it nice that it comes from the psycho ex? I'm so, so tired of this after all these years.

Comments

notarelative's picture

Check the US state department web site as it has information about minors and traveling with one parent that may be useful.

Grandfather lives in Mexico. If he is a Mexican citizen can BM get her and daughter a Mexican passport? If they can, and DH really doesn't want her to go to Mexico, you may want to consider a court order prohibiting the travel.