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Advice needed....

Confused.com's picture

Submitted by Confused.com on Sat, 11/26/2016 - 2:42pm

So we take their phones off the Skids at 8pm each night. This weekend they lied and said they didn't have their phones on them. I've just found their phones. Advice, what should I do? This weekend is turning into a headache. Help ladies???

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Confused.com's picture

Submitted by Confused.com on Sat, 11/26/2016 - 3:07pm

She's high conflict so returning to her is not an option. DH is going to talk to them when they get home from their outing. I'm thinking we should only give them back when they go home tomorrow. DH will do all of this, he tries to discipline them so I don't have to.

I just know tonight will be a bad evening with the Skids probably playing up. Want to strangle DH at the moment for letting it get to this, he lets them get away with small things till Skids get out of control.

Confused.com's picture

Submitted by Confused.com on Sat, 11/26/2016 - 3:08pm

Punishment will be early to bed, but they already know they are going to bed early for being shits yesterday.

ntm's picture

Submitted by ntm on Sat, 11/26/2016 - 3:48pm

Wait--you found the phones while the skids were out of the house? YOU found them? And you told your DH? Man, what an opportunity to have disappeared them! How could they ask where they were if they told you they didn't have them?

Now that DH knows, I would have him fine them. Ten bucks each to get their phones back. Next time they claim not to have them, call them. Twenty bucks each to get them back then.

K333's picture

Submitted by K333 on Sat, 11/26/2016 - 4:47pm

According to the skids the cell phones are not with them. Keep it that way until you return skids to bm. When they fess, return the cell phones, lesson learned. No different than when a kid is not truthful about taking something from a store and making them take responsibility for their words and actions.

Confused.com's picture

Submitted by Confused.com on Sat, 11/26/2016 - 9:58pm

I followed all your advice. And it all ended well, the kids freaked when they realized they'd had their phones taken and been busted for lying. First SD13 demanded to know where the phone were, DH and I refused to get into that conversation, we innocently said what phones but you never brought your phones with you. SD then said we had no right to go through their things. DH said we had every right as he was their father, they are minors and under our care and in our home. That shut them up, SD got all misty eyed when she realized she was cornered. I said we're done with this conversation let's sit and watch a film.

We all sat and watched a movie and the Skids defrosted and then started being polite etc and then....shock and awe they BOTH APOLOGISED!!! Result, in the end we all had a nice evening. We gave them back their phones and they were both really sweet for the rest of the evening. Helping with dinner and chatting away while we ate.

Confused.com's picture

Submitted by Confused.com on Sun, 11/27/2016 - 8:08am

Oh but they were punished, they went to bed 2 hours early Friday and Saturday night. They were forced out of the house for 4 hours yesterday to get exercise and fresh air. That upset both Skids and DH, but gave me some peace. By that time I'd found their phones, took me all of 5 minutes to find and took phones off them for 6 hours till we had a few tears and a humble apology. In total it was a solid 24 hours of conflict which we won. As for watching movies they watched my choice and then after that they voluntarily cleaned my kitchen up. When they've done something wrong they can do house chores to make up for bad behaviors.