Does BM have a case?
So DH has two teenage kids. Long story short the grandmother reported to us that BM has been drinking heavily smashing up the house and being verbally abusive to the kids. Also BM got the skids to do shots at their family BBQ last year and SD14 got alcohol poisoning. And at the start of this summer SD14 was picked up by police at 3am in a car with two female friends and with two boys. The school got involved. When we found out we went to the school councillor and she stated her concerns to us about SDs behaviour (smoking weed and regularly sneaking out of the GBMs house in the middle of the night to drive around with two boys who are known to steal and deal drugs.) We told the councillor what GBM told us, she wasn't surprised as for years she suspected SD had issues at home but SD never confided in her much.
So the school councillor reported it to CPS, and they investigated. CPS were great but all they could do was give BM a warning. And BM has started to behave herself with the kids.
But in retaliation BM has filed a court case to get full custody stating that DH doesn't take the kids for his full visitation, which is true he lets them see friends/sleepovers etc on his time, so often only takes them Sat and Sun instead or Fri/Sat and Sun. Also BM states that we have locks on the outside of the kids bedrooms, not true they have no locks at all, we removed the locks years ago. And BM states we have cameras in the kids bedrooms, another lie we have a camera on the hall and on the landing. She also states that DH gets intoxicated around the kids, he does have a few beers around them on a Sat night.
Does she have a case at all?
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I am not too sure, but just
I am not too sure, but just to be safe, take a newspaper dated today & show it then record that there's no locks on the doors, etc. Record everything! Proof & truth shall set you free! Gotta love modern technology
Excellent idea, I'll do that
Excellent idea, I'll do that this morning! BM has tried to raise this before years ago which is why we took the locks off in the first place. I'll get DH to dig out that correspondence too. We told her back then there are no locks, dumb bitch has nothing new to come up with. And we can prove there's never been cameras through a video. Thanks for the advice!
No thats BM making up
No thats BM making up bullshit. The bedroom doors had normal locks on the inside of the bedroom. We took them off because the kids once locked themselves in and refuse to come out after stealing chocolate. We decided to prevent a repeat performance by just changing the door knobs so they don't have locks at all, they're just plain door knobs with no lock.
Can you ask Social services
Can you ask Social services to come and evaluate your house? To show that it is a fit place to live? Just thinking that if you have records of a visit and an evaluation, she won't have a leg to stand on. I'd also ask if you can record the visit too.
Another good idea too, I'll
Another good idea too, I'll get this in motion. In the original custody case 3 years ago we offered a visit to the GAL but BMs lawyer said it wasn't necessary as they knew our beautiful house would show BMs house up to be the shit hole it is.
Thank you, another great suggestion!
No. I think it would be a
No. I think it would be a good idea to counter off with getting at least 50/50 custody. That alone might get BM to retract but even if she doesn't it sounds like your DH should be doing something to help the skids before something serious (even you can say alcohol poisoning isnt enough) happens. Now I will say that he will need to prove CPS had a case open against BM. He needs to prove the kid had alcohol poisoning as well as cop/school issues with the girl. He needs either statements from the children admitting this stuff or he needs legal written documentation of it all. Attendance records if that's a problem as well as seeing if the councilor would send a statement to the judge of her concerns. With all of this the judge will be able to see BM is only in court as a means of retaliation and she will lose. I think it's important for you to document all the times your DH gave up his time with his children for sleepovers/events/whatever to prove he isn't just giving up his time because he doesn't want them but rather because he wants his kids to be able to enjoy their childhood in spite of having a non-traditional household. Get all texts of BM asking or telling him of the sleepovers and their conversations agreeing to them. Take pictures of the doors and where the cameras are in your house. The goals are 1. Prove BMs claims are lies and 2. Prove BM is using the court for retaliation and why. That should be enough.
Thank you, I've put all of
Thank you, I've put all of this in a list for DH. He's started pulling emails this morning. He's got loads to gather so he'll have lots for the court. We already have the case summary from CPS but he'll call and see what else he can get.
I think this is just another extreme if Custodial Interference, she has no basis. Once again she's trymg to destroy DHs relationship with the kids, it's already badly damaged after years of PAS.
Two reasons, one GBM only
Two reasons, one GBM only blurted this all out to us 6 weeks ago. And two, for a dozen reasons we don't want full custody of the kids, were happy with the 50/50 that we have.
Does BM have a case? A case
Does BM have a case?
A case for what? Full Custody? THIS mom you wrote about getting FULL CUSTODY....
Sure sounds about right to me. She is a 'chump' mom who doesn't parent her teens, CPS wagged their finger at her a little, School counselors eyebrows are raised, kids hanging with other kids smoking weed, kids running away. EDIT TO ADD BM is a drunk throwing stuff around the house, maybe throwing a few things at boyfriends (maybe).....YUP she has a case actually a great case to win Full Custody AND a huge cs check.
IF she plays her cards well, she could quit her job and modify for more child support in a few years PLUS college expenses.
NO JOKE and I am not trying to be a smart ass either.
Thanks for replying, I agree.
Thanks for replying, I agree. The more I think about it the more I realise she has nothing. The judge has got pussed off with her cooking up crap allegations in previous court cases. Last time the judge dismissed the case and just wanted them out of the court.
We're going to get a great cut throat lawyer who I used last time and give her a whipping in court. If we make it unpleasant enough for her she'll think twice about doing it again.
I know we could get full custody, the GAL offered it 3 years ago and CPS last week suggested we went for full as we had a good case. But we don't want that nightmare, I for one am not prepared to take them full time. I'm currently pregnant with our first child together.
So your DH is ok with them
So your DH is ok with them being by mistreated at BMs house?