So this week was eventful. My SS11 had his 5th grade continuation on Wednesday (it's like a mini-graduation from elementary school) and of all the over 100 students, he acted like a fool on the stage and was a complete embarrassment. So I told him he was grounded when he got off the stage. Of course, that became MY fault. I know that I probably just should have waited until we got home, but I didn't realize the fight I would be in when I grounded him. DH was a total A-hole to me on the way out of the school and I finally snapped (I should mention that I am 39 weeks pregnant and insane right now). I made a scene and went off on DH and SS in the parking lot of the school. DH took SS with him to his office, but before they left I reminded them both that they could hide, but they would still have to face me when they got home.

After years of holding these things in, and with the help of plenty of hormones, I texted DH and told him I was finished and was getting a lawyer. He called me and I was a raging bitch. I told him that since they both have cast me into the role of wicked step-mother then I will now step up to the plate. I said I would make SS11's life hell for the whole summer, destroy all video games in my house, do anything horrible and awful that I could think of to make him miserable (I could write a whole list). I said I now have nothing to lose and I would just go insane until they knew what a REAL wicked step-mother could do. DH had a little panic attack (he probably had to change his underpants) and asked what he could do to fix this. I asked for an apology from him and SS and that he will NEVER question my decisions again in front of SS.

When I got home SS was home alone and apologized. I basically gave him the same speech about the wicked step-mother thing that I had given his dad and we agreed to move on. So this was the start to summer break for SS (I am also on break bc I'm a teacher). The next day DH heads on out to work without even a thought of WHO will be taking care of SS. How nice for him to not even have to worry about anything.

By Saturday I got pissed and started to argue with him about what are the summer plans. BM is a flake, but there is a summer camp he can go to. DH started in with the same shit, that I am a nag and that I hate SS blah, blah, blah. He took a shower and I sat and thought about it while he was in there. I really tried to examine my WHY (check out TED videos if you're wondering what I'm talking about) and when he got out of the shower I had a rational conversation with him. I told DH that when I'm in charge of SS11 I always feel like my actions are allowed to be questioned, but when he is in charge of SS, and gets pissed or irritated by him, then his actions are never questioned. Since we have NEVER found a balance where all my decisions are respected (or at least not questioned in front of SS), then it is not a matter of me loving SS or of me "punishing" DH, but more a matter of me protecting myself. If our marriage is going to make it, I can no longer be responsible for SS. I also explained that when SS acts like a fool he is a reflection of his parents and since I'm not actually allowed to be his parent fully, I don't want him representing me. If my DS had pulled the stunt SS pulled on Wed. then he would have been pulled out of his continuation ceremony and driven home that very second, but our DS would never do that because he knows his ass would be grass.

Anyway, DH took SS to work with him on Saturday (he has his own company so not a big deal) and now BM has taken him until Tuesday. I can sign SS up for day camp after this week and BM is going to take him on her actual days of custody since she stopped taking him as much during school. I hate to make DH pay for day camp and basically just wash my hands of SS, but if I don't I think we'll end up divorced.