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I do have a good BM in my step world!

Cooooookies's picture

BM1 and DH have been divorced for donkey's years. Any b.s. they went through is decades over and I think most of it was perpetuated by BM2 anyway. Surprise, surprise. Anywho, thought I'd share a good BM story.

SS35 was supposed to host a not-surprise surprise party for DH this past weekend. DH knew as he'd have to drive to SS35's house. For some reason, the party was cancelled because a friend of SS35's couldn't make the party. That's a whole other story that I won't go into.

The night we found out it was cancelled, I was messaging SD32 and we came up with a plan for a surprise party here at our house. So we settled on the Sunday that just passed. DH and I are both waiting for new jobs to start so we are both always home.

I messaged SD32 and asked if she could help with the food as I cannot sneak anything since her dad is always home with me. So her and mainly BM1 went out and got all the food for the party. BM1 kept messaging me asking what I thought DH would want and she offered to make a Spanish paella as the main dish. So she did all the shopping and cooking and organizing of the food and then we split the cost between her, SD32, SS35 and myself.

It worked as they rang the doorbell Sunday and DH answered the door. They all yelled out SURPRISE!! and he truly had no idea anyone was coming. I even had a long time friend of DH's come here as well. He had the biggest smile on his face and really enjoyed the day.

I should mention that DH and I also attended BM1's surprise 60th birthday party last year.

It is SO MUCH EASIER to do things this way. To all get along and all be friends and hang out without any issues. I truly do enjoy talking to and hanging out with BM1. I have no problem attending a family function with her there and am more than happy to have her in my home. It is so nice!

Then I have BM2...who sent $100 worth of make-up sent here, even though she is always "so broke". Plus demanded that we pack SS14 a decent pair of jeans as she is going to take him out for meals a few nights that he's out there in Cyprus visiting her. He doesn't like jeans, he won't wear them and they're too expensive to buy for a child who hates them. So F'ing buy them yourself. Perhaps return some of the anti-wrinkle and night cream you've had sent here and you could buy the jeans. Heck buy ANYTHING for your own son!

So there are decent BM's out there and, let me tell you, it is so much nicer to deal with!

Comments

hereiam's picture

DH and I were just talking about this the other day. We get along with his first ex-wife just fine, can't stand the second, psycho bitch ex-wife.

zerostepdrama's picture

This is great!

I hope if Ex ever remarries that I will be considered a "good BM".

My mom is a "good BM". Her and my SM get along really well and have respect for each other. It makes things sooooooooo much easier and nicer.

zerostepdrama's picture

Makes me think of this summer when my mom, BS and I met up with my dad and SM in our hometown and we all camped together and my mom's brother and wife came and visited and my dad's sister and family came and we all hung out and it was totally normal and comfortable.

Stepped in what momma's picture

It is nice to hear stories like this, usually you can't find many people that can leave the past, well, in the damn past.

notasm3's picture

I think it's great when it really works for everyone. But it often only works on the surface.

A friend's daughter is married to a man who had a child with his ex wife. They have spent all holidays together for over 15 years. But during this time the ex wife got a divorce, and she is WAY TOO dependent on her first ex DH - my friend's daughter's DH. It's great to get along but I would not want my DH being responsible for his ex after her 2nd divorce.

My BFF since college got divorced after her DH left her for another woman. They are "besties" and she's slept with him for years. Sick. Sick. Sick. Sure he's her best friend - but the fact that she has been having sex with him for years is gross.