I hate to say it, but, but, but....

I told you so!

}:)

So I feel for her, I really do. It's not all her fault but crappy parenting by both BM and DH.
At dinner last night SD13 ate nothing but corn on the cob and quinoa. She had one little medallion of pork tenderloin on her plate, untouched (smoked, yummy bbq pork). I had told DH the night before when he was trying to minimize her food issues with our friends (I had to literally walk away from that conversation he was being so, so head stuck in the sand and disregarding my input - of course!) that she would NOT touch my bbq. "OH, yes she will! Serve it to her!"
LOL.

So he notices the medallion on her plate, says she needs to eat it, why isn't she eating it? I mentioned to her it's the same type of pork she loves in the pulled pork way. Then I shut up and let DH handle it (he needed confirmation that yes, she eats it one way but not the other). DH was all over her about not eating her meals. Found out the only thing she ate that day, all day, was a bowl of rice crispies for breakfast and one for lunch. Besides the corn and quinoa. Because she didn't want any of the other food stocked for especially her (my prior blogs cover her food issues). I think she's getting sick of eating what she's eating but can't get past new food items. There is plenty to eat in the house she just won't eat it.

**I've discussed her food issue with DH multiple times and provided him info about the disorder. He won't read about it and dismisses my input so I cannot be involved**

Then she starts SOBBING. (I think she also has low blood sugar/hunger but that's here nor there)
She's upset that she doesn't do anything and her friends are all busy with activities and don't want to hang out (one slightly bitchy one told her that). No one wants to hang out with her outside of school. DH tries to comfort her but mostly just lets her talk. Tells her he'll help her find something to do or something to be involved with...blah blah blah.

After she goes to her room DH and I talk.
I point out:
* Her friends are busy because they have actual hobbies and things they enjoy doing. She doesn't.
* We've tried to get her involved in things many times, and with her input, but she quits after joining if she isn't perfect at it from the start. I've stopped helping because she continually quits and no one makes her continue.
* DH always asks if she wants to do x, y or z or if she want to go to a, b, or c. The answer is always NO.
* DH says "Maybe we should have done something with them this weekend." Me: "No. We had things to do and you didn't want to spend the money right now...due to household repairs...this is not a fun house or entertainment facility...etc."
* DH says, I could have tried to do something with her...Me: "DH, you did. Several times..." Then gave him examples of what she turned down flat.
* Suggested that if she's that bored, then HE needs to GET HER DOING SOMETHING. Clean her room, do laundry, get outside with us helping with yardwork. Get her a baby-sitting job or something. She wants money for her 8th grade trip next year? WORK.
* Stop laughing and finding it amusing that she watches all 13 episodes of Kimmy Schmidt in two days. Turn off the WiFi!

I actually called her a princess to his face on Friday because he was shocked she didn't want to update his phone number on her phone. She was being lazy and entitled and wanted HIM to do it for her. Come on! I just shrugged and said, "She's a princess." When he was pondering later that night why she didn't want to do it.

I suspect there's other things going on too (lack of hygiene, potential depression or ADD - runs in his family) and he's thinking about that and what he wants to do.

SD11 is fine though - that's the funny thing. She's much more resilient and self-sufficient. I do know that when we go clothes shopping for summer stuff in a couple weeks she's going to get her first starter bra...that shirt she was wearing yesterday was a little bit, um, 'revealing.'