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Very proud of ME!!!!!

daisy0202's picture

Submitted by daisy0202 on Wed, 06/20/2012 - 10:19am

So this morning DH asks me if tomorrow night him and SD can sleep over since we are leaving Friday morning for camping....

AHHHHH NO!!!!! Sorry lets not push the issue. The weekend will be enough for now. he was not to happy and kinda gave me attitude. I told him if you want us to work lets fix things first and then move forward. In his mind last Sat went so well he thinks oh goody lets move back in....HELL NO!!!!! I do not think he realizes we are so far from that.....But whatever i am sticking to it.....BABY STEPS DH!!!!!

Comments

buterfly_2011's picture

Submitted by buterfly_2011 on Wed, 06/20/2012 - 10:20am

I'd give you a BIG HUG if I could!!!!! I'm proud of you for standing your ground!!!!!!!!

arjuna79's picture

Submitted by arjuna79 on Wed, 06/20/2012 - 10:26am

Go Daisy! Great job recognizing both the play and the drive behind it, great job for standing your ground! YOU are the leader in HOW this process will evolve. Keep it up!

Delilah's picture

Submitted by Delilah on Wed, 06/20/2012 - 12:31pm

I would want to see more change than just how DH manages further three tantrums from sd tbh!

I don't think its at all surprising that DH is pushing you, this form of manipulation both DH and sd are really talented at. They think one moment of progress (or lets call it as it is and imo its probably sd feeling sorry for herself rather than actual change) is enough to then use as leverage to push things again and again. Look at the situation where he and sd moved themselves back in (btw I would ensure that doesnt happen again by changing the locks or getting the house key back).

I would be asking myself frequently what exactly DH IS doing to change HIS parenting behaviour? What progress is HE making with real change? Also apply this to sd. If you can't really answer this or if he is making minimual effort then it tells me he is humouring the situation, avoiding it rather than actually addressing it.

Well done for saying "no" and sticking to it. DH needs to see you mean business but be careful that he just doesnt underneath all his good intentions actually believe that you will change your mind and capitulate. Is he aware that you do not want sd back in your home? Does he know you are considering living separately until sd leaves to go to college (particularly given sd's plans are to remain with daddy while she attends college, meaning you and DH will not be living together for years to come if he allows her to do that)?

p.s. have a nice weekend Smile

simifan's picture

Submitted by simifan on Wed, 06/20/2012 - 4:57pm

Good job Daisy! It bothers me though how DH seems to continuously push your boundaries. You need to tell him where you stand & you do not expect to have him move back for 2 years when SD is 18.

alicesmile's picture

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