Here's my story - I apologize in advance if it's too much reading! I have three children (22, 19 and 15 - with the two younger ones still at home - 19 year old is attending local college). My husband (we were married in July 2010) has two boys (21 and 17) - 21 year old is at college - 17 year old lives with his mother and visits us every Wednesday and every other weekend. When I initially moved in with my husband-to-be, his boys would visit on the appointed day/days and absolutely wreak havoc on the house. There would be dishes, clothes, video game systems - you name it - scattered all over the place. Dad just decided that was easier for him to clean up after they went home to mom's then to make them be responsible for themselves (it's not like they were two years old!). Well, needless to say, when I came along, we had a heart-to-heart with all of the kids about picking up after themselves and respecting the fact that there were now other members of the household. That didn't go over so well. His oldest son stated that "there's a new sheriff in town" (meaning me) and it was all made out to be a big joke - including to dad.

According to dad, the youngest son has some sort of "learning disability" - although he was never officially diagnosed with anything. Granted, he is a little slower at certain things than some of this friends, but he's in normal classes in high school, plays basketball and participates in school plays. The frustrating part of this is that I've always been one who thinks that school work comes first - extra-curricular activities come in a distant second. He doesn't do his homework (or if he happens to, can't manage to turn it in). He currently is failing one class and doing poorly in the others. Our school has a website where you can log on with each student's username and password and check their grades and see if they have any missing assignments, etc. His mother and father neither one have this information - they've never even asked for it. Dad knows I check his grades, but doesn't seem to care that he's not doing well. He talked to him on the phone the other night and asked him two questions - "How did basketball practice go" and "When are play auditions" - never once did he inquire about his school work or grades, even though I've told him how bad he's doing.

Both mom and dad treat him like he's two. Dad serves his food to him in the living room, brings him iced tea when he asks for it, etc. Mom bought him a $200 cell phone for Christmas. Dad did email her asking why she found that necessary considering how bad he was doing in school, but she never replied. The only response he got was last week when she emailed dad asking if he could stay with us for an entire week in February while her and new husband go to Cancun. I think I'm leaving home that week!!!

Anyway - lengthy it is. Sorry about that. Any advice on this subject would be tremendously appreciated!!!