Birthdays with SKs
How does everyone handle birthdays with the SKs around here? DH and SD11 are skipping the party this year. DH said "I think she is kind of too old for one." AKA SD doesn't have any friends and honestly has no one to invite. Sad but true. It's probably been several years now since she was invited to anything.
As far as gifts go... do you get SKs something? Do you just say whatever DH gets is from both of you? Over the years, I used to buy SD clothes. 1) Now she only wants to pick out her own clothes - totally understandable as a preteen though 2) Her relationship with everyone in the household has deteriorated significantly over the last year. 3) She put forth zero effort for both mine and DHs birthdays last month. Not even a homemade card or saying "happy birthday" to us in person 4) She will be with BM for 2 weeks before and after her birthday 4) Thinking about just baking a cake
Anyone else?
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I let dh do all of that. I
I let dh do all of that. I don't get involved or call or send anything nor do I expect anything from SS. Luckily we are long distance so we rarely see him on anyone's birthday. The last time he was here for DHs birthday he didn't get him anything not even a card and we live in an area where drugstores, etc are within walking distance. After my littles gave dH his gift, skid got on his bike and went to buy BM something and showed it to DH later that day. So weird.
The last time I gave SD26 any
The last time I gave SD26 any kind of b'day present was on her 18th ie 8 years ago. Both she and SD24 always totally ignore my b'day - or occasionally I will get a text - but honestly, I prefer not to. And I decided now they were adults it had to be a reciprocal arrangement or nothing. DH gets them something and I sign the card.
We never see SD13 around her
We never see SD13 around her birthday so we send her something and that's that.
She used to have multiple parties, one with friends and another one or two with BMs family. These fell off once she hit about 10.
I remember one time she was complaining that she (BM) spent more money on birthday gifts than her friends did. What an ungrateful brat. SD is very snotty and brand, status and money focused. I think she was a popular girl in school due to wealth. However her friendships didn't survive covid. It turns out that if people can see that big ol' abercromie on your clothes you have to maintain your friendships and status with your personality and wits, both of which she lacks. DH once told me she was having issues with bullying, he painted her as the victim. Later I learned she was the one doing the bullying! Of course DH assumed she was the victim.
She's still playing victim and saying she didn't want to have a party this year. I have never known this girl to ever miss the chance for a party, likely it's like your skid and she didn't want to have a party and face the reality that no one wants to be around her.
Parity
Parity was and is my SP religion. Back in the day up to now, I spent exactly the same on his and my kids. At Christmas, they all also got the exact same number of gifts.
Luckily, we weren't in to birthday parties back then except for one I had for BD before the,SKs moved in.
OSD17 is PASed out so I do
OSD17 is PASed out so I do nothing for her. Her 13th birthday at our home was a ridiculous affair with her acting out, me being literally ignored by everyone, including DH and BM (don't get me started) and I was done then.
YSD15 I don't do anything for really. She doesn't like parties, doesn't want them at our home anyway, doesn't ask for anything even when prompted, doesn't seem to appreciate anything, even gift cards or CASH so I just stopped this last year. She got a card from me, but she didn't even open it.
No to everything!!
My 3 skids are horrible disrespectful, dysfunctional and miserable people to be around. They dont get the privilege of stepmum baking and decorating a cake from scratch yet alone the usual roast chicken or bbq meal we did with our kids or my bday.
in actual fact it was our daughter's first birthday (a big deal) and we invited my husbands family over including those from interstate like my fil and sil who loves with him and cares for him. Know what happened when hubby and his nephews were grilling some bbq lamb shoulder cutlets and grilled chicken, ss18.5 comes with a plate demanding his food immediately!!
our guests had not even eaten yet and its polite manners to offer guests the first choice in meals since we are catering and entertaining for them, secondly, birthday person hadn't even eaten. Hubby looked at his kid and told him he could wait till every guest and us had gotten their first round of food and to stop being rude!! Apparently ss wanted to sit on his arse and be catered for. Thinks he's some bigshot like his batshit crazy uneducated mum.
another time during my birthday, we were about to sing happy birthday song to me and my sil as our birthdays are 1 day apart, ss17.5 came with his plate demanding daddy cut a slice of the cake i baked for him first. Ils just looked at one another in shock at his rudeness.
my husband told him off that the birthday people hadn't even got the first slice and he could wait his turn.
mind boggling how such rude feral skids inherited nothing of dad. Just 100% replicas of batshit crazy bio mum
It's low-key
It's low-key around here. Usually SS11's grandparents & Dad give him some videogames. I tried to bake a cake & do a card & some decorations but SS11 explained that "we don't have big parties" and just didn't want to eat more than a couple bites of cake! I'd recommend asking "Would you like me to do anything for your birthday?" and going with their lead. Otherwise, you may try to plan something special and be disappointed when they're not that interested.