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Toxic SD14 attempts to ruin Christmas Eve

Dogmom1321's picture

SD14 and DH had an argument last Friday. It was the last day of school before winter break. She woke up begging DH for "1 more hour of sleep" because she was up all night studying. Fine. An hour goes by and SD14 starts bawling her eyes out to DH of how tired she is because she was "studying". DH said she has D's and F's and can't afford to skip school. SD14 just keeps crying and he finally threw his hands up. Said she needed to call her friend to tell her she is not carpooling in the morning and also needs to call BM so she knows to pick her up from our house and not school. 

Well, SD14 called DH today and I guess they hadn't spoken since. SD14 went off on a rampage that "I just can't do this anymore." "I want to go live with BM." "It's my life and I should be able to control it." etc. etc. etc. DH said he would sit down with SD and talk to her, but he called her out on it being a really sh!tty thing to say on Christmas Eve. Isn't that what NPD people do though? Ruin holidays on purpose because of attention and control? Alarms were going off in my head! She started blaming DH saying she "has nothing to do" and only "sits in her room" when she is at our house. 

C/O as of 2018 says BM and DH are 50/50. However the caveat that DH has final educational decisions and BM final medical decisions. As a result, SD14 attends the high school in our local neighborhood. BM moved about 30/45 minutes away in 2021, and basically stopped getting SD anymore except on weekends and holidays... because she can't be bothered taking SD14 to school so far away. 

Neither party ever got the C/O updated and child support isn't received on either side... so DH just rolled with it. And that's how we are in this pickle now. I don't see BM paying the $$$ to take DH back to court. Unfortunately I think DH is just going to ride it out these last 3.5 years... but I don't think him and SD14 will have much (if any) relationship left at that point. 

I'm totally disengaged and DH and I NEVER talk about SD14, so for him to bring this all up to me really let's me know how much it is bothering him. It's been 6+ months since our last discussion about her. 

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Dogmom1321's picture

Edit to add***: SD14 is notorious for having falling outs with her "best friends". She has probably been through 4/5 in the last 3 years or so. I asked DH what happened with the latest BFF (maybe there was another falling out too) and he said SD didn't say. DH is worried that even if SD14 goes and lives with BM, changes high schools etc. then she will keep having the same problems (poor grades, poor friendships, etc) and can't just keep avoiding her problems instead of addressing them head on. SD14 is also hot/cold with BM and last summer refused to talk to her for several weeks (who knows why).

I'm starting to see WAY more signs of NPD in SD14. 

Rumplestiltskin's picture

"DH is worried that even if SD14 goes and lives with BM, changes high schools etc. then she will keep having the same problems"

Yep. Wherever she goes, there she is. 

thinkthrice's picture

More like up all night on tiktok or insta.

Harry's picture

And he is letting her do it. This is how SD will never leave.  She will live with BM ...you .. not working... if we don't like school we like working less.   He creating a monster