SD14 and DHs biggest FEUD yet
SD14 started high school this year. She hasn't ever done well in school, but DH is taking high school seriously and staying on top of her grades. Checking assignments online, asking about tutoring, emailing teachers etc.
Well school was cancelled here today (Friday) due to the hurricane (in NC). Last night SD14 said her BM is driving to TN for the weekend and she wants to go. Not smart heading start west into a hurricane, but BM is a dumb@ss so we expect nothing less. DH explains to her that he has talked to her teachers and she still has "online" assignments do tomorrow to be counted present. SD14 comes up with some kind of excuse and starts arguing "No, my teacher said I can turn it in late. They said I don't have to log on, etc. etc." Anyways, they are arguing back and forth. I guess DH just ASSUMED SD14 was staying at our house so she could do school still?
We all go to bed and wake up at 6:00 AM because the power is out and our phones went off with the emergency alert for tornado watch. We have a multi story house so DH called for SD14 to come down in the basement with us. He's like "hellooooo, wake up, ____'s name!" He opens her bedroom door and *POOF* she is gone. At some point BM came by our house after 8:00 PM or so and SD14 packed a suitcase and just left. No saying bye, no confirming that she has her school laptop with her, NOTHING. DH was pissed.
I FULLY expect SD14 to go no-contact on us when she turns 18, if not before then. SD14 lives with us majority of the time and only sees BM on the weekends/extended holidays. I feel like her behavior goes beyond the "moody teen" stereotype. Anyone else with older SKs relate? What were your warning signs for SK going little to no contact with your SO?
Update - no text confirming she made it there safe, left after going to bed, NOTHING! SD14 doesn't really surprise me much any more, but this time she actually did.
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Honestly, it's a blessing
Honestly, it's a blessing sometimes when they go no-contact as adults. I found it all depends on how willing the father is to give in to their demands. If he holds his ground or tries to parent them and puts up boundaries and can't be used as an ATM, then you tend not too see them very much. On the other hand, if he doles out the money and never criticizes them, then they are more likely to hang around and dangle their limited presence as a carrot in front of him. It's all about what they can get out of him and how little he bothers them.
Your DH is trying to parent her (for her own good obviously) but BM is trying to win the favorite parent award by being the fun one. Naturally she's going to gravitate towards BM.
Little Idiot went low contact with DH when I basically left because I couldn't stand her lies, laziness and complete lack of direction after she washed out of the military. I had had enough of him defending her behavior. Once I was gone he realized he would be stuck with his daughter mooching off him and no wife he sent her to live with her mom and I came back. She's been gone ever since. Her lies laziness and lack of direction have continued to the point where she has no job and is in deep debt and flunked out of college with no prospects other than finding a man to take care of her.
SDs current aspirations are
SDs current aspirations are cosmetology school and doing hair. I think she will either wind up living with her mom as a young adult or also find a BF to manipulate and use. It will probably be one toxic relationship after another sadly.
So SD ran away from home. Or
So SD ran away from home. Or was kidnapped by BM. This is actually serious. She was in your care, in a hurricane, and you guys didn't know where she was. Does your DH have a CO? Was this his custody time? This is more than just annoying. It might be a custody violation.
Also, it's dangerous. The drive will be dangerous and keeping a kid you can't trust not to sneak out, even with her dumbass mother, is dangerous for you guys legally.
BM has 100% been in contempt
BM has 100% been in contempt for years now. DH is dried up from being in court on and off since SD was 3 years old. BM knows this and totally takes advantage because she knows DH isn't likely to follow up with the courts. I guess I shouldn't be surprised the SD has the same "I'll do what I want" entitled attitude.
DH finally got a "yep," response from SD in a text. Ridiculous!
It will be free if, next time
It will be free if, next time you guys knock on the door and she's gone without explanation, you call the cops. She's 14. I'm assuming someone got in touch with SD or BM and confirmed SD is with her mom? If not, you could still drop the dime...
DH finally got a one word
DH finally got a one word response "yep" when he asked did BM pick you up?
Next time, then!
Next time, then!
I would be tempted to report her as a runaway, since you don't
I would be tempted to report her as a runaway, since you don't know for sure she is with BM. From your perspective, she is just gone - no note and she won't answer her phone. It would help protect you legally and it might teach the two of them a lesson.
I wouldn't be tempted, I'd
I wouldn't be tempted, I'd do it. Imagine if it wasn't her mother who abducted her. Nip this in the bud NOW! This is a question of safety.
That is insane! Even if it
That is insane! Even if it weren't during a hurricane, it would be insane for her to just leave in middle of the night. I definitely would report her as a runaway or kidnapping. BM is a moron in a lot of ways, but driving in middle of the night through a storm like that is unbelievable.
Dup
Dup
What were your warning signs
girl I wish my former step kids (and their conniving breeder) went no contact with my ex fiancé (as soon as 18 hits) ....
might have saved our relationship
Sometimes when difficult obnoxious people pull away their presence is actually a blessing in disguise
You have a serious problem.
SD does not respect her BF. You will get no where without respect. Time for DH to cut contact with his DD. IF she is not respecting her father where do you go from there. ?? I would seriously cut the money to SD. Get your egg in a row. To. Not pay for her college. Education. Or trade school. No or $25 Christmas and birthday gifts. [ $ 25 a little low today that lunch at McDonald]. No graduation gifts as in trip to somewhere, no weddings m and paying the cost of BM friends getting everything.
You can't do anything about SD, SO you don't have to pay for her and her life style.
I would have nailed BM and SD
I would have nailed BM and SD with an Amber Alert. She is a minor. She was kidnapped until it is determined she wasn't.
BM needed to have her car surrounded by the Police and jacked up against a cruiser to get cuffed.
I would have ended BM had this been my kid.
Time for a security system that the Kids can't disable so when this shit happens it screams bloody murder and scares the shit out of BM and SD when it goes off.
Grrrrr.