DH cost dd a great car!
I am livid with dh right now. I got home Saturday with dd from a mother/daughter day and when I pull into the drive there is a new (new as in not supposed to be there but used car) so I go in to see who our company is and sd starts screaming at me, Did I see her new car? Did I see it? What? Dh said his aunt gave it to her because she bought a new one. I thought that was really nice of her and I went out and let sd show me her car. Now remember sd is 14 as is my dd. Aunt felt someone would get more value out of the car then what the dealership offered so she thought of sd and gave it to her.Dh's older dd who is 16 had a less nicer car but she already had a car so she wasn't given this one. Dealing with bm and switching titles out of older step dds car to dh while giving her the new one would have been problematic so aunt decided to keep it simple and give it to sd. I called aunt to thank her for her generosity and see what new car she got. She told me while on the phone that her dh got a new car and she said that my dd would have gotten his but dh didn't think MY DD would be responsible enough for it so they gave it to a man at church. I confronted dh and he said yeah, dd can't take responsibility for anything there is no way she needs a car. Is he freaking kidding me? I told him if his attitude towards dd doesn't change then our marriage would be over and the bastard only said he was sorry to hear that and that I should work with dd instead of threatening him. What the heck can I do for this man to see dd isn't irresponsible? His dd can't remember to bring her shoes home from school on her feet but my dd is irresponsible? Dd hasn't said much about sd getting a car and I know she heard dh and I fighting over why she didn't get her step uncles car. I am flabbergasted over this.
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Has he always been like this
Has he always been like this towards DD or is it just because of the cart incident?
Why would you call Aunt to thank her for the car for SD? Didn't your DH already do that?
Just since the band incident.
Just since the band incident. Whenever I would call out sd he would make a point to prove dd was as bad as sd but nothing like this.
Why is he so mad at DD for a
Why is he so mad at DD for a decision that you and the school and the driver of the car decided on? Which was that the driver wasn't going to get her car fixed.
He feels she should be
He feels she should be responsible for the costs since she damaged the car. He isn't listening to reason.
I just have to think there
I just have to think there has to be *some* validity to his stance. Because otherwise, the only option left is that you choose to stay with a man who hates your own daughter. And I wouldn't want to think that of you.
Most of the time he is really
Most of the time he is really good to her. He spent Friday night playing basketball with her and teaching her to bbq. I just don't get why he has it so ingrained in his head she is irresponsible.
I am flabbergasted over
I am flabbergasted over this.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Im sorry but why would you be surprised? You have allowed this man to abuse your child over and over and over again. Your post are ALL the same over and over. They are all about your DH making your DD feel like scum on his shoe.
And you have been advised over and over what to do and how to shut this shit down but no....you just keep allowing it.
You need some serious help and you need to let your DD go live with someone else before your DH damages her beyond repair.
I dont normally give up trying to help someone but this is just too much for me anymore. I will not respond to your post again. You are either just trying to flame the board or you are one of the worst mothers I have heard of.
You are only hearing about
You are only hearing about the complaints and not the good things he does.
When a man is emotionally
When a man is emotionally abusing your child, the good things do not matter.
^^^this^^^
^^^this^^^
Agree!
Agree!
I sure hope your DD isn't
I sure hope your DD isn't hearing his constant criticism of her. I can't imagine what that must be doing to her self esteem if she is constantly hearing how worthless her SF thinks she is.
He's not kidding you. He's
He's not kidding you. He's using your DD to get even with you and you continue to allow it.
Perhaps it's best you get
Perhaps it's best you get her a car using your own means anyway.. It sounds like the less control this man has over material goods, the better. This of course, doesn't sound like a happy solution, but if you're going to stay with him you may as well start limiting what he has access to in order to minimize the effect he can have on DD...
And yet you stay with him. He
And yet you stay with him. He has been actively condescending towards your daughter to the point of what I would consider emotional abuse from your past post. You can be mad at him all you want but you're not taking active steps to change anything so blame yourself also.
Wait a second. You've been
Wait a second. You've been just as antagonistic to your SD as your DH has been to your DD. I'll bet anything you weren't calling the aunt to thank her for the car - why would you do that? You were calling her fishing for information. "Was the car really intended just for SD?" was probably the thought process.
You and your DH torture each other through the kids. You don't think much of his daughter, and he doesn't think much of yours. It's beyond me why you two stay together given the toll it's ultimately going to have on the children - BOTH girls. Not just yours and not just his.
You hate each other kids so I
You hate each other kids so I don't know how you stay together. And same as other poster I don't understand why you called aunt unless it was to cause drama. It's his aunt and she gave car to his kid. Why do you call her?
I dunno. This is kind of a
I dunno. This is kind of a blessing. Honda pilots are terrible on gas mileage and the repairs on a used one are pretty pricey, too. Even though he may have done it for spite, he saved you and your wallet a ton of grief.
I would not even say anything
I would not even say anything about it... why cause it's my child and i will provide for my child, I do not need freebies from any one.
I'm teaching my kid that you work for something, nothing is for free..... I would never accept any freebies from the In-laws cause it will always come back to bite you. I would simply smile and take my kid out again and say... people who get everything for free will never succeed in life, we have 2 years to save up for a car for you, we can do our homework now to find the best cheapest car, not only in purchase price but with fuel consumption, tire replacements, services etc and insurance..... then 10 years from now if steps are still standing with their hand out to collect free stuff you are already working and earning your own way, it's much much more satisfaction and some day the freebies will stop and they will have no clue what to do......
This is how I raised my son, he's 22, working and saving and will be buying his own car soon, he did all the research on cheapest one, when Aergia heard Deigma is going to get a car, she demanded one, SO bought her one... it's standing on blocks, she effed it up and there's no money to fix it or replace it... wonderful... not even a drivers yet and already totaled a car... drove it illegal and there was no oil in the engine hehehehehehe