So I am on my way home when my cell rings.

Me: "Hello?"

DW: "Draco! House! Fire! SS! Baseball bat! Face! Hospital?"

I actually pulled over to the side of the road so I can talk properly. DW was obviously very agitated and talking a mile a minute. I told her to please calm down and to talk slowly.

The house two houses down from ours caught on fire. There are EMT vehicles clogging our street preventing DW from accessing our driveway. The people that live there (an elderly lady and her adult daughter) had to be taken to the hospital for smoke inhalation). I found out this morning that the fire was caused by some faulty electrical wiring in one of the closets.

Also, as if that wasn't eventful enough, DW was in hysterics over an accident SS had in school. Apparently some kid swung a baseball bat in gym class. The bat slipped out of his hands, and smacked SS square in the face. DW was saying that his cheek had swollen up and he had a black eye. She was wondering if she should take him to the hospital.

I told her that I would be home soon and I will have a look at him.

I arrive home (I had to park a half-block away) and I see SS happily eating away at a pizza. Already that is a good sign. From far you couldn't see any injury. He has some swelling, but nothing that seemed serious.

I asked SS what happened and even he didn't seem sure. Some kid swung a bat and it slipped out of his hand. This made me furious. It's bad enough that SS's Math and science class has an average in the low 60s but now you're telling me that a 15-year-old boy doesn't know how to swing a baseball bat!?!?

"Keep a cold compress on it and take some pain killers." I said "Do it NOW!"

DW was furious that the school didn't call her to let her know. SS said it happened at the end of the day...This immediately raised my suspicions.

The school is usually pretty good about informing parents about accidents like this. I'm guessing that SS and his friend were horsing around. In fact I am sure of it. Last time SS slipped and fractured his wrist because he was doing something he wasn't supposed to be doing and he never reported it (hence why the school never called us).

This morning, I decided to be a total ass....

"Next time you play baseball SS. Try using an actual BASEBALL and not your head."

"Oh, when the coach says 'Keep your eye on the ball son', you know he doesn't mean that literally right?"

"If the swelling doesn't go down we're going to have to cut your cheek open with a box cutter."

"The left side of your face is black and blue. Would you like me smack the right side so it matches?"

DW told me to stop it, but SS was laughing and laughing.

"Stop Drac0! You making me laugh is really hurting me now!"