So I have been married for 3 years and have a blended family with my wife. My biggest struggle is with SS16; his BF has not been involved in his life for the last 7+ years, and he was basically the man of the house until I came along. Needless to say we both had some getting used to. He's a good kids and we generally do alright together. Here's my biggest struggle: My DW has a very different philosophy of parenting than I do. I am assertive and keep kids accountable, expect them to pick up after themselves and be respectful. If they choose not to then they have chosen the consequences. I also make an effort to spend time with each SS/SD and try to learn their interests, etc. My DW's style is much more lax. Here's an example: SS16 is angry with me (for me standing up for SD14 whom he was picking on) and when I speak to him he ignores me and won't respond. This is just a typical example of his behavior when upset at me. Now I was raised that you acknowledge a person when they address you (different rules apply if a person is just yelling or berating you) so I consider his behavior very rude. All this happens in front of my DW, but she does nothing. When I talk to her about it in private, she replies that he was just frustrated and she will talk to him. What I don't agree with is her not confronting the behavior when it happens, because it allows the behavior to be imprinted in his mind that there will be no real consequences. It also undermines my authority as a leader of the family with my wife. It doesn't mean that I get to boss him around for no reason, but it is my house and rules, therefore I have to right to correct out-of-line behavior that is directed towards me if he wants to have the privelage of living in our house. My DW doesn't seem to understand the discipline thing, and that kids will test their/your boundaries, and whatever they do is in direct response to what you allow them to do. I believe that kids will love you more for giving them discipline becuase the structure will give them security. How do I get my DW to understand that allowing SS16 to blatantly disrespect me equates to her not recognizing me as an authority figure in the family? It may seem like a small thing, but when you own your own home, pay the bills, feed everyone (we both pay bills but we both have a say in all the expenses) and SS16 is allowed to act any way he pleases with no repurcussions from DW, it is frustrating. For anyone who wishes me to stand up for myself, don't worry - I do. My problem isn't really with SS16, it's with DW who allows this behavior. When I bring these concerns to her attention, her usually response is to complain about some behavior of my BS has done to upset her which is just changing the subject and deflecting. Suggestions???