Nobody knows the trouble I see - YSDiabla24
Nobody knows my sorrow
YSDiabla 24 is coming baaaaaaack ......... from visiting and vacationing in Mexico with OSD26.
As a reminder, YSD's most recent job "didn't work out" and now instead of getting another job, she decided to go travel with OSD. OSD can afford travel (for now) YSD? I doubt she can afford basic neccesities much less travel.
Yesterday, the day before her return, YSD informed DH that the temp job she had lined up this summer "fell through." She sent him a sad face 
text.
You all may remember that before DH took YSD to the airport for her vacation, she manufactured drama, whining that DH is "too grumpy." Lol She was so busy starting trouble about nothing that she forgot to take her cell phone to the airport. Me and my (kind) DD got her phone back to her. I was just relieved she made her flight OUTTA here.
Well, that's short lived because tonight she's coming baaaaaaaack, and what's worse is that SHE HAS NO JOB so I have no idea how long she plans to stay here?
DH is already talking about booting her ass back to BM. Come on DH ... just do it.
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Ugh
I wonder why she's back so soon.
It reminds me of the time several years back when SD62's childhood friend invited her to visit in Florida. DH had fantasies of them bonding again and SD moving there. We drove 50+miles to put her on a plane and breathed a sigh of relief. A couple days later, she called him to pick her back up at the airport. Some kind of upset occurred. Just as a guess, Friend caught her stealing or taking her prescriptions. Sigh...
She was gone 2 or 3 weeks so
She was gone 2 or 3 weeks so that is a pretty long time to piss off for a vacation when she needs to pay rent/bills. (SD subleased her room out so now she has nowhere to go but back to BM or ... here.) Ugh!
We are packing and about to move. We have no time for the manufactured drama she tends to bring with her.
SD doesn't blatantly steal, as far as I know, but she is fairly antisocial and has a hard time maintaining friendships. She has been known to decide that whatever she finds in the lost and found is hers.
Time for a life lesson.
Time for a life lesson. "Sorry kid(ult), you leased out your room, you will have to figure out your own housing."
Lather, rinse, repeat.
make it uncomfy for her. What
make it uncomfy for her. What a smells, foods, things she hates? embrace them all.
A funny (now) story that almost ties into what I'm saying: it's well known in my family that a smell I hate more than the smell of popcorn is the smell of burnt popcorn. So when my youngest as appx. 12 or 13 and got himself into actual trouble, which was rare for him, and I punished him he waited until about 8pm then deliberately burned a bag of popcorn in the microwave. I had to smell it all night and any time I used the microwave for a couple of days.
Does she hate the smell of lavendar, of broccoli, of hot dogs, etc etc etc. it sure would be a pity if she had to smell/eat/see/etc that during her hopefully short stay.
Hmmm ...
All good schemes, I mean ideas. The popcorn story is too funny. I can see my BS19 doing something like that.
I am not sure what all foods she doesn't like but she can be pretty picky. The popcorn reminded me that she hates the sound of chewing. I will have to break out the popcorn and chips and crunch away in the evening while we're watching TV.
Chewing with your mouth open
Chewing with your mouth open and smacking your lips of course.
There’s no reason
For SD to live sponge off of you. If she can figure out how to go on vacation. She can find a place to live. Not with you. DH can go to motel 6 with her if he wants
Her job fell through? I'll
Her job fell through? I'll bet it did because she either went on vacation and missed her start date (mean job people wouldn't accommodate her schedule) or the job fell through before she left because...Same reason.
I bet if fell through because
I bet if fell through because she wasn't hired to begin with. Likely the job was a vague possiblity but not decided. She probably just lied. She is a lot like BM in that if she wishes something to be true then she acts like it is.
today's update
SD24 is still here. She is annoying me in a multitude of ways. Mostly small stuff so I am trying not to sweat it. DH "thinks" she wants to leave soon but in her usual childish, power-play way, she likes to be evasive and ambiguous about her plans. It somehow makes her feel powerful to play coy. It is really stupid and irritating, especially since she acts this way about even the most inane stuff. And in this case it would be nice to know when she is going to leave.
There have been so many times that SD stormed off from our house saying, "I'm going home!" Back then BM lived right down the road from us. SD felt powerful, like she was punishing DH by leaving. I think she is slowly starting to realize that her leaving is more of a reward for us than a punishment.
I think it's kind of funny now her only option is to leave here (the area where she grew up) to go back to out-of-state BM's house. SD and BM fight like cats and dogs but they are cut from the same cloth so I think disaster BM is normal to SD. Yesterday she brought up BM just about every time she opened her mouth. BM did this, I talked to BM about that .... blah blah blah. She seems to have BM on the brain. I hope she runs back to BM soon.
Yesterday while DH was packing for our move she had the nerve to walk up to him and say, "I'm bored." She still acts like a 12 year old. God forbid that she actually lift a finger around here to help out. DH told her "I'm busy. Go find something to do by yourself." Lol That is what he should have been telling her when she was a teen and then maybe we wouldn't have a 24 y/0 that still acts like she's 12.
Her regular playing of the
Her regular playing of the Mommy (BM) card is pure manipulation and trying to irritate a reaction out of everyone. Time to make the reaction exactly the same every time she drops the Mommy card.
"Wow. Now what are you doing to become a viable self supporting adult? Hmmm?"
Your SD too????
Seriously, what is even UP with that???? You just desribed the same patterns I've seen play out time and time again with SD29. Definitely right out of their playbook.Its like they never really grow up no matter how they try to convince the world otherwise Mine acts exactly like the same sullen , constantly BORED 12 year old that I met going on 17 years ago. She literally has a 12 year old daughter of her own now who is shaping up to have the same personality and the same messed up dynamic that SD always had with BM. Does your SD still have this Baby Voice thing going on too? Dont ask me what the deal is with that either. That was already unbecoming and annoying enough as a teen let alone now that shes pushing 30. She also thinks and acts like Her refusing to talk to me or come around is supposed to be taken as some kind of unbearable punishment. Since I made her Shit List once again, her last parting words to me was that she was going to make things "easier for me and stay far far away" LOL. ( Oh no..im so devastated..how can I possibly go on??? LOL)Truth is this was the first time I have even heard a word from her in two years and havent seen no hide nor hair of her since then either. The funny thing is that They don't really realize how much they are doing us a huge favor and how much Im praying that she makes good on her "threat" this time around. Hopefully that works out in your favor too! I can also suggest pushing that along by making sure you are not going out of your way to allow her to get too comfortable and keep up with the Grey Rock strategy..usually drives these SDs insane and gets them all fed up when you take away your time, attention and energy from them
Wow
I can relate to everything you wrote.
Yes, what is up with the baby talk??? At 24 still she goes into this cutsy widdle baby voice with DH or anyone she is trying to endear herself to.
You are correct that SD is losing her mind that I have disengaged and I am not catering in any way. My goal is to medium chill where I appear friendly but keep my distance. Sadly, at this point I am so over it, triggered and irritated by her that I am failing at being friendly.
Over the years SD's made tons of snotty, rude comments about not liking or wanting to know me and my bios. Now on this visit YSD is trying a new strategy of asking me personal questions or engaging in small talk. I don't want to talk to her, be alone around her or give her a chance to start a fight. I give her short answers and keep on walking. She is losing it. She sulks around for the rest of the day and gets on her cell phone to tell BM or OSD how mean I am. Lol
Then she sneaks around and tells DH she is hungry and doesn't know what she can have to eat. She tells DH that she has been told there are some things in the refrigerator that are off limits. (My BD22 preps her own lunches ahead of time and doesn't want grubby YSD eating them.) She refuses to speak to me about it as the Lady of the house. I told DH that YSD and OSD have always come in this house, do whatever they want whenever they want, and do not defer to me or ask me for anything. Part of the natural consequence is that now they know nothing about how our household operates. Not my problem. YSD went off on me, shaking with rage when I told DH that my adult BK's prepare their own meals. At 24 she doesn't get to play victim. Figure it out "kid."
I can't wait for her to leave which I sense will be happening soon. She can't stand to not be the center of attention.
DH and I have so much to do right now. I cannot deal with her.
I'm glad she is rotting in the cesspool of her own making.
shaking with rage when I told DH that my adult BK's prepare their own meals. At 24 she doesn't get to play victim
Well played in making her live her self created outcome.
Good riddance when she leaves and... enjoy that departure.
Thank-you
My BD22 is only here for a short transition period before she moves back into her own apartment again. She is finishing up her last year of college and holds down a steady job.
Meanwhile SD24 finished college a year ago and still hasn't kept a job for longer than maybe a month? She usually quits within 2 weeks. I have no idea what kind of hiring manager hires someone like her but she seems to keep getting (entry level) jobs that she promptly quits.
To add to the weirdness, I came downstairs today to find SD24 wearing nothing but a towel, OUTSIDE. She was PO'd that it was me who found her. I think she was hoping DH would find her walking around like that. Ewe! New level of ick! Talk about trying to get attention. I am glad I saw her like that instead of DH. She went storming off and the next time I saw her she had clothes on. OMG.
Just the description is
Just the description is nauseating.
Good Lord...
I actually dont know what would be worse, that stupid EFFING Baby, little girl cutesy poo voice ( grates on my damn nerves just recalling the sound of it. Almost Nails on Chalkboard Level Annoying ) Or having the indecency to go walking around without bothering to put on proper clothing. That is just nasty and trashy to boot especially if she'd have no shame parading like that in front of her Father. I get that recognizing Appropriate Boundaries arent their strong suit but At least have that much dignity to refrain from that..! Thats the problem, these SDs dont have much of that to speak of and so its too much to ask. I would also be wondering if she were strutting around pratically nekkid hoping to catch Daddyss eye. Not sure if this is any kind of vibe you've picked up too before, but Ive noticed that when SD was 12 or 13 or maybe a little older, she had this subtle way of acting like my DH was her boyfriend or crush..just way too overly attached and clingy for a teen hence her actions as if she has been in this compettion for attention. She also acted jealous and had this borderline posssssive attitude when her own Uncle ( her Biological one, mind you) got married to her aunt, which took some of the attention and focus off HER. . No joke,, Not like it woudnt be weird enough if he werent her blood relative, but still..just Total ICK factor! Who does that? How desperate for Attention can they possibly get? These little girls have some serious issues, no doubt
None of these overgrown "kids"
really have any business Playing Victim at their ages! I swear Victim Mentality seems to have become quite fashionable these days and some of the SKIDS will never totally let that go.As if they would rather wallow in that mindset rather than actually put in any serious effort to improve themselves. It's like thats all they know how to do to try to Barely "get through Life". The issue is that they have been coddled enough to be allowed to get away with it through playing on others sympathies and manipulation. So that's what they are used to relying upon why they feel so entitled like Everyone must owe them something. . . Thats why they get all Pouty over the mean old SM who sees through that , decides to Starve them of that kind of attention by not feeding into it. Thats why it shouldnt be a Mystery as to why they have turned out the way that they have.
I also hear you loud and clear that I also have a very limited amount of free time ( like most people, got a full time job, a house to maintain that i can only get done a bit at a time. Pets to take care of.., etc,,other priorites to worry about) Hell, I only have so much available time to do things that I'd ACTUALLY be interested in) I dont know how anyone, especially SD, is still convinced that I have Time and Energy to deal with Babysitting her as well her little Minions, bending over backwards to make life easier for her at my own expense. Not nearly the top of my list...actually it doesnt even rank anymore. Really..how many people can honestly say they would Enjoy or want other people's "kids" hanging on them in their own home that much?
Like you, I have demonstrated the Medium Chill method. Its been rare ( thankful for that) that when the skids roll up totally Unannounced, ( last visit was very very short..also..thankful about that) I am polite, but more or less just carried on with whatever I was doing instead of rolling out the red carpet for them. SD can blast me to whomever and keep Pouting until she learns that My life was never going to stop just because she decides to "grace" me with her presence and doesnt revolve around her! I know that you know thats why she went off like she did. Telling me to go ahead and live my life with her Dad or however I choose..as if thats not precisely what I have been doing! It's astounding how she said that as if that was something she expected me to feel Guilty about, , as if that was some kind of Power Move in her mind. ( just like yours with her percieved threats of moving back in BM. Its kind of sad and makes no sense as to why she had to feel so Powerful over giving me "Permission" to have a live of my own ( which you And I have every damn right to !) that I didnt ask her for . Gee, thanks for your "blessing", SD,,its cute how she thinks I was looking for that!