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Just venting

emilymarie's picture

Submitted by emilymarie on Tue, 08/16/2011 - 5:44pm

Ok, posting this will in no way change the status of our household or what happens in the future, I'm just getting it out. My SD10 lives w us 24/7. Her mother has moved to 3 different states in the last year. I just feel like instead of getting closer to her, we are growing apart. It's awful...we barely speak and when we do, it's short and pissy. And when my husband is working and it's her and I, forget it...I don't understand why this is happening. I try talking to her and she just cries and acts like I'm putting her on the spot and can't stand to be confronted. We get no where. I am not sure how much longer I can take it...instead of home being my solice, my get away from the world where I can feel at peace, it's not...at all.

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Madrede4's picture

Submitted by Madrede4 on Tue, 08/16/2011 - 6:19pm

Oh wow! I was reading your post and I thought I was reading about a part in my life! Unlike your situation, our daughter's mom lives in the same town as us. She never wanted to raise her daughters so we have kept them permanently. The one that sounds like your 10 year old SD is not even my husband's! She was a product of an affair and she sees her mom and "bio dad" regularly. The conclusion that we have gotten (my husband and I) is: she may feel she is betraying her bio mother if she loves me more or as much. This may be happening in your case. I also go through the acting one way when my husband is home and different when he is working. I suggest you start ignoring her behavior when she gets pouty or mopy. Tell her you do not want to replace her mom but be her friend. Do not ever say anything negative about her mom as much as you may be wanting to (I have to bite my tongue!). Look, she willbe gone sooner or later, wheter because she goes to live with her mom or when she is old enough to move out and guess what? you will have your husband. Do not let a bratty kid get you "out of whack". You are capable of handling it. Trust me.

Blondie901's picture

Submitted by Blondie901 on Tue, 08/16/2011 - 6:27pm

i know how you feel, my partner her son is 10 and i try to talk to him but all i get is attitude. i ask him to clean up ect but he just gives me the whole i dont have to listen to you... it's really hard i have tried explaining to him that i dont set the rules, i just make sure he follows them. This morning i told him to clean his room before he went to his fathers he went and did it after alot of attitude and crying. but i said to him i only tell you these things because i care and i dont want you to get into trouble and all you do is treat me like crap. I'm not going to help you anymore. she also has a 18 year old who is very lazy and i feel like i cant even ask her to clean up because shes an adult and she should just do it and when she doesn't and i said common you should have cleaned up and goes oh yeah ill do it later... and i just feel awkward just talking to her in general coz i dont know what im going to get.

i dont understand why she wouldn't want to talk to you... you look after her 24/7 and her mother is obviously never around.