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not quite sure plain hurt and frustrated

emilysma's picture

Okay

My husband and I dropped my d off at college 6 weeks ago. I have not seen her since I did not go down and she did not come home. Last weekend we saw my 2 SD for my husband's bday. I said on the way home next weekend we will take my D to a dinner of her choice. Of course he said ok. my SD are 26 and 23 At dinner on Friday he said oh what time is my D leaving to go back (3 hrs away) I don't know. Is Sunday just for the 2 of you? Now I know something is up. Then 26 SD wants dad to come spend Sunday with her and the SD23 I was fuming. Really We see them every 2 weeks and the one weekend my D is in town you are going to ditch her. I finally said fine (They are finally putting the former wife's ashes in a mouseloeum in 3 weeks. She has been decease for 4 years it just took that long for the cemetery to build )why this weekend why would he even ask. Now my D thinks that she should not come home. I told her that the issue is not her fault. Her room mate thinks that she should not come that is why my husband rushed out of the house today. My d and her room mate both has dad's who give a shit about them. So not my daughter said at lunch well room mate neither of our dads care to be around us why would mom's husband!!!!

Comments

Bossladee's picture

You need to reassure your daughter that YOU want her around, that she is important to YOU, and don't worry about your husband. Life goes on, shouldn't revolve around your DH....the two of you should go do something.

floridianmama's picture

It doesn't sound like he was purposely making plans for when she was there. I asking when she was leaving he probably was trying to keep everyone happy. But I also don't know the whole story. Has it been a pattern?

emilysma's picture

I reassured both my daughter and her room mate I wanted them home and for both of them to come home for fall break. In the beginning of my husband and I relationship he did admit he tried not doing anything with my daughter so if his daughters complained about him spending "more time " with my daughter then them.
I do believe it's his daughters doings knowing she was going to be in town and I am sure he is just a man and has no clue.

I just think I will not go and spend time with his daughters in the near future. I know they would prefer it anyways.

It just broke my heart that she relates my now husband the same way she thinks of her father (someone who doesn't care about her)