Is this his version of being on my side?!
On another night/day, I'll tell you of 6 flags and Paul McCartney...but that is not tonight. Sorry. In no mood for that insanity. (OY)
So...I'll tell of TONIGHT.
DH and I weren't really arguing, just in a disagreement about something (SD16's step g'ma sent her money for GRADUATION...um, she's at least a year away from that and of course I told SD to call her and say thank you but I am not graduating (don't want to steal from an elderly lady, ya know?).
ANYWAY (OY again)!!! I found out SD and DH decided that $ was up for grabs even without calling to correct the situation. I didn't think it was appropriate. I said so.
While I am talking about this, SD shoots dirty look to DH that CLEARLY states, "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH, here the bitch goes again with her MOUTH." The turns her dirty look to the laptop screen of her dad PC, which she is allowed to borrow even though she is grounded from computers?????
Anyway, I say, "OH, OK. You know what? You can go to your room until you wipe that nasty look off your face."
She denies ANY look that isn't like her normal "princess/innocent" (AKA never brushed teeth never washed face bitter look)....so her dad DEFENDS ME WITH "You know what? I don't care if didn't do anything wrong. Just do what she said."
SD argues she didn't make any mean.rude face. I say that yes, she did.
DH says again, "Like I said, maybe you did nothing wrong at all. You might have done nothing. But that doesn't mean that you shouldn't mind, right?"
OF COURSE SD FREAKS AND ASKS "If I did NOTHING and you BELIEVE ME then why are you on HER SIDE?!"
DH states, "Just listen to me: You might have DONE NOTHING WRONG but you still have to MIND."
I will say nothing else because I'd like opinions. I want to make sure I'm not nuts or a total a-hole. I feel like he screwed me over (especially with how he said what he said and how she reacted) but they are acting oblivious). Sheesh I dunno.
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lol
that is HIS version of being on your side, but in reality, it looks as if he is trying to save his own ass from BOTH of you. he must fear is daughter. and he must also fear you too.
you are not nuts. my sd11 has done this to me, been rude and then denies it. her sweetface daddy either magically didnt see it or she does it on the sly.
he did screw u over. i would call the old lady and tell her yourself. or, pocket the money and say that it was misplaced. if sd can lie to daddys face, you can too.
Agreed.
I am so glad I'm not alone. (though I wouldn't wish this on anyone)
Yep...what EBS08 said
That is the most *creative* way of taking sides, yet NOT taking sides, that I've ever seen. Your DH gets the "please EVERYONE" award. lol (Although, he *hasn't* exactly pleased everyone) No, he needs to be told that's NOT how to back you up. If he didn't agree with you, he should have just told SD "Go to your room so we can talk about this for a bit".
Nice spin!
LOL. You know what? You win the award for using the word creative. That's the first giggle I've had today. hahaha. Nicely done and THANK YOU. DH was rather clever though....I think I'm gonna have to keep my eye on him.
Anyway, thanks so much for that persepctive. You nailed his passive-agressive stuff more than I'd even attempted to in this situation. *hugs*
(and I totally agree with you saying he could've asked SD to leave so he talk to me. I would've responded better to that than what he chose to do.)
Well, it sounds like he
Well, it sounds like he doesn't want to accuse her because he didn't see it himself, but he is saying that whether she did or not is not the point, the point is that she is to do what she is told, regardless.
"I child proofed my whole house, but they STILL get in!"
Man O man,
You called HIS response to a TEE. We were in private to discuss this:
He said, "Oh, I thought I was defending you by telling her to go to her room no matter what."
I said, "Then why did you put empahsis every time on 'you may have done nothing wrong'? I mean, hon, you said that over and over. Do you think she heard that you defended me by saying 'go to your room like she said'? Or do you think she heard "though you did nothing wrong, let's amuse the bitch'?
He stared at me with a blank look and said, "I don't guess I thought about what she heard. I was trying."
I said, "Thank you for trying. I do appreciate that. But in her case...I'm afraid it came off badly." We didn't say much after that.
*shrug* Let's see what comes of this.
Question
Who's mother is the step grandmother?
Weird...
OK, this is hard to explain...but I'll try.
Step G-Ma is no blood relation at all to SD16 or DH.
DH's g-ma (maternal) was married to a man named...Uh, we'll call him "M".
"M" remarried a different woman. They had no kids together, but DH was tiny when they wed, so DH spent some time with his g-pa and new wife. She was eventually called Oma because she's a sweet older German lady who married G-pa.
SO...(lol) DH nor SD16 is related by blood to Oma/step G-ma, but she's a nice fixture of their family nonetheless. I think she's lovely.
Kinda in the area....
We're in ATX. We drove to Arlington for the Paul event. I didn't go, though, so I can't tell you much about the stadium. I'm sorry!
WOW
wow! i have been in your shoes before! i hate that on the sly dirty look kids give. my sd12 used to do that all the time! it would drive me CRAZY!!! and when i would say something she would tell her dad she didnt do anything. but she wouldnt do it to just me she woud aggravate her sibs doing the samething.... this child JUST KNOWShow to push buttons!!! if i told her she needed to go to her room she would flat out tell me no, and my fh would tell her to do like i told her to do.... he clearly was trying to avoid any kind of conflict... but what he doesnt understand is that it just caused an underlying conflic between you guys. sometimes dads have no clue especially if the daughter is a daddys girl!
Brandi<3
Me too!!!!!!
I am in the same boat; SD16 does this to me AND my bio-sons and always seems to pull it off so daddy doesn't see it. How CONVINIENT!!!!! (sp?)
I hate that soooooooo much. If he'd catch her just ONCE shooting me those venom-faces, he'd either tuck-tail and run, or straighten it out for sure...because those looks have NOTHING but flat-out, nasty, conentrated HATRED in them. And it seems the uglier she looks at me or my boys, the SWEETER she gets when I call her on it. Of course that leaves ME looking INSANE and "out to get her".
You know what sucks most of all? This dirty look crap has happened before, and DH takes no side or her side, and then he leaves the room, and SHE GRINS AT ME AS IF TO SAY, "Ha. Ha. Ha. You old bitch. Got you AGAIN. Now WHAT?!"
Grrrrrrrrrr. DH can open his eyes or I'll leave his ass again. And this time? It'll be for good. No joke.
my SD12 did the exact
my SD12 did the exact samething bc there was those times when he didnt believe she could possiably do any of those things. but he did catch her one day and that was all she wrote! he was embarrassed at first but quickly handled it. and i have to say on the day he did catch her i sent my on little smirk her way... i know childish but i was just glad he FINALLY saw her! and 2 summers ago i also left bc his kids were ust spitful and hateful! he quickly found out how much i did and wanted me to come back and said he would handle his kids. he did and now they dont come down bc they have to show respect and follow rules. i see it like when you get married or are together it becomes a partnership no matter what. if there is no untied front then you will be infultrated!!! its kinda like playing army...lol. but if thats not there then the kids will ruin everything your marriage and your relationship
"parents who are afraid to put thier foot down usually have children who step on their toes" ~chinese proverb~