OK, so Thursday when we found out BM planned to take SD out of town the weekend before the biggest project of the year, it was terrible. SD stressed, crying, neither me nor DH handling it very well.

Friday morning before taking the kids to school, (we get up an hour before DH) I talked to SD from the heart, told her I was proud of her for trying to stand up for herself, and that I was sorry I had suggested she call her mom, and that I really didn't know it would turn out that badly. I told her that DH and I had talked about it and he wanted me to tell her, we will make sure that she is never put in that situation again. We will work things out among the adults. I told her, she would be able to make it work; that she has already been working hard on the presentation and she will be able to practice in the car, and will still have Sunday night and Monday to finish up. Basically, having lost the battle about her going, I was just trying to minimize the stress on her, and make her feel ok about it. She said thank you, and she seemed genuinely grateful and less worried.

So, after school I arrived there to pick up BD, get SD's violin and presentation board, and we waited there with her until BM showed up to pick her up. BM did not acknowledge me in any way, SD got in the car and they drove off.

Late that night DH and I had a huuuuuuge fight - I don't even know if fight is a strong enough word. Not physical of course but if words could kill we'd both be dead. It's not important to me to go into the details of the fight - we worked it out, and I got the chance to tell him a lot of things I'd wanted to.

Saturday all day I was out of the house and when I got home in late afternoon, found out that he had called SD that afternoon to see how she was doing... she was doing fine, because they were still here!!!

Unbelievable!!! So I find out later from SD that she doesn't know why BM decided to cancel the trip, she just "guessed the plans fell through". I asked her when she knew she wasn't going, and she said BM told her as soon as she got into the car on Friday after school!!!

So BM clearly knew she wasn't going ahead of time. There was no reason for her to pick up SD from school, 2 hours earlier than her scheduled time! Or, I could have sent SD's presentation board with her, to practice with, if stupid BM had told me they weren't going out of town! And BM did not even inform us, after all this drama, that she decided not to go!

We have no idea why BM decided not to go, other than that she very often makes half-brained plans that don't actually happen. One year she kept saying she was taking SD to Europe for Christmas... yeah, right. DH thinks she might have decided not to go because she knew it wasn't what was best for SD. I say if you believe that I've got a nice bridge to sell you.

Bottom line was, a LOT of drama for something that didn't actually happen, SD got to stay home and relax and practice, and she did GREAT at her presentation this morning (which BM did not bother to show up for.)

Believe me lessons have been learned from this whole mess. I never want to go through this again. I need to disengage from the parental decisions and be more subtle about trying to influence DH to do the right thing. He is a man that does NOT do well with ultimatums and is almost as stubborn and hardheaded as I am, so I need to find more effective ways to push him in the right direction.

Now I'm left just wondering what crazy thing BM is going to do next.