Another one I was raised with was speak when you are spoken to. When an adult spoke to me I was expected to listen and answer in a polite and attentive manner. It's a lesson that has served me well throughout adulthood.

I was shocked at how the step-diablas will ignore anything they don't want to hear, even just walk away and no one says a word to them about it. It makes them rude, entitled and self-important.

With that said, I am all for helping children to develop their own voice and learn social skills that may have been underdevelped in the old days with harsher methods and abuses. I believe in "do unto others as you would have them do unto you" includes children. Parents can be kind and firm without being mean about it.

morning talking about how "modern parents" do not agree with the children should be seen and not heard, but their actions say otherwise that instead of having children learn to entertain themselves while out to eat at dinner with say crayons, a book, a toy, etc. that giving the children an ipad or a phone instead is doing the exact same thing, but instead of teaching them to entertain themselves, they are just being distracted by technology and not learning to self entertain. 

I would say DH and I learn away from the "modern parent" in a lot of ways and we are 30 & 32 so our age puts us at the modern parent range, but there are definitely a lot of lessons from parenting previously we agree with over how people are choosing to parent today. We do not want to raise entitled, spoiled, co-dependent children that will eventually be adults with those same attributes. 

Kids today seem to have more anxiety and depression than previous generations did. I think part of it is that they do not trust that the adults are competent and in charge. If the adults can't stand up *to* them, how will they stand up *for* them? Keep them safe?

I also think the "child-centric" way of raising kids makes them a lot harder to be around. The latest thing on social media is how modern grandparents don't want to help with the kids because they are selfish. But maybe it's because so many kids are intolerable little sh!ts because they haven't been raised properly. 

I love you, but right now I don't like you very much. (With an clear and direct explanation of why.)

Because I said so.

You will not talk back to me. 

If you can't listen and learn you will have to feel.

Do what you are told when you are told to do it.

Go stand with your nose in the corner until I get tired and come get you.

There are many parenting nuggets of wisdom one liners that worked well in raising children to viable adulthood.

I recently watched a child behaviorist, an older man, PhD, talk about how free range and feelings based parenting is failing to raise caring and kind children who are also not turning out to be caring and kind adults.  It was very interesting.  Firm boundary parenting grows caring respectful kids who are caring and respectful adults.  When it is all about the kid's feelings, the kid struggles to recognize that it is not all about them and the kid implodes when they are not treated as if they are special and that their fee fees matter.  These kids tend to be a major behavioral problem in schools, end up medicated and syndromed because of the never ending search for the excuse by their parents who fail to see that the only thing wrong with their kid is that the kid never had a parents proverbial foot up their ass. Ever.  

I have seen videos of kids slapping parents, parents trying to talk to that kid about their feels while the kid is cursing the parent out as the parent's face grows a bright red hand print.  Not even a thing in my world as a kid or as a parent. Oh hell no.

There were no school shootings when teachers had paddles hanging on the corner of the desk and patrolled the hallways between bells, etc.  Yes/No Ma'am/Sir and doing what they were told when they were told was the behavior and respect/polite model of the day.   

I am a proponent of corporal punishment when it is appropriate to disciplining a behavior that clearly earns it.  No harm was ever done to a kid when a Principal put a paddle on the kids butt to reconnect the kids brain to their body after a bad choice on the kid's part,  A stinging ass has a notable positive effect on re-engaging a kid's brain with making good decisions. In an rare and age appropriate manner of course.

Where were the school shooters, teen bullies, disruptive kids in class, etc, etc, etc when there were clear behavioral standards with immediately applied consequences for deviating from those standards?  There weren't. Even bullies were not present for very long when they got a swift kick to the face by a victim who had had enough.  Because a single incident was all it took for consequences to come down on the kid like a ton of shit in a one pound bag.

I premise that parents who used the now disreputable parenting phrases and applied a hand, paddle, belt to the butt cheeks of a kid who earned it did not have to do it often and far more of those kids than not grew to be adults with strong relationships with their parents.  For the very reason that those kids grew to be respectful reasonably behaved adults.  

I'm a Xoomer.  AKA, last year Boomer.  I can count on less than one full hand the number of times I heard any of the phrases that hurt so many fee fees these days and can count on less than one full had the number of spankings I received.  Maybe a full hand and one or two other fingers.  At most.  Lying, disrespecting parents, GPs, teachers, adults was not tolerated one bit.  No one basically gave a shit about why a kid might lie, be disrespectful, or how a kid might feel about something.  The standards were inviolate.  Confident present parents did not struggle with many if any of the kid behavioral crap that is far more prominent today.

IMHO, much of this is due to the lack of presence in kids lives of their parents.  Parents outsource it all. Schools are the defacto parent, kids are stuck in every possible activity that their parents can pawn them off to under the guise of providing the kid with the full meal deal experience of the moment. Kids do not sit and ponder, read, etc... they are hyper stimulated by gaming, screens instantly available any time any where. Kids do not use their own imaginations any more. Their parents buy them access to someone else's imagination.  There is no playing pirates, cops & robbers, cowboys & Indians, soldiers/war, getting dirty and coming home lith skinned knees and elbows carrying a cool stick or a neat rock after doing kid stuff in the woods or field near the house or out a power line service road in after walking an hour or more to get to a cool secret spot.

The grilling lecture under "the look" was far more terrifying than any spanking ever was.   Back in the day disappointing your parents was something no kid ever wanted to do.  Not because of the possibility of swats or lectures, but because parents were to be respected and honored. Period. Dot.  After the lecture the kid was hot hugged and their feelings were not discussed. The kid went to their room and stayed there until some time that the parent called for them.  Heaven forbid if there was a repeat of the behavior that resulted in the stern lecture.  Being grounded for months except for school and meals was an effectively played tactic. None of this losing your I-pad for a day type crap.  Weeks if not months of nothing but sitting in your room, there were no toys in that room, reading or writing papers on whatever topic the parent assigned all in perfect handwriting double spaced no spelling or grammar errors.  

I have relatives and some friends who were raised by over zealous disciplinarian parents.  As adults they did maintain contact with their parents, but were not close nor did they engage with them frequently.

IMHO the whole formula is simple and direct. Kids behave. Period. Dot. Parents owe their kids and society to deliver on that clear and simple standard.

Kids were not tolerated to run amok, pitch fits, talk back, or be disrespectful.  Basically this stuff did not happen because parents raised their kids from day one with the structure and standards that made this crap an extreme rarity.  Basically structure and boundaries work.

My Uni BFF commented a number or times how he felt we were too strict on our kid.  He would more frequently comment on how he was a great kid, well behaved, respectful, engaging, mellow, etc, etc, etc.   He and his wife had a child that was hell on wheels.

He was a emotion and free range type parent claiming he used boundary parenting.  To him that was there is a boundary and inside that boundary she could do whatever she wanted. Reality was that there were no standards of boundaries.  She ran amok and was one of those kids whose parents should have kept away from the public.

Their kid was kicked out of nearly a dozen day cares because of violence, rage fits, etc, etc, etc...   After a number of years of their kid's crap he told DW and I "I get it now." regarding how we parented.  Use your words, keep your feels in check, ask do not scream for it,  be mad but tell us what is bothering you, and the seen and not heard model works well to provide kids with boundaries, set expectations of behavior and performance, and provide the clear message that if they are going to screw around when they are supposed to be behaving and working, they can work when their supposed to be screwing around doing stuff that makes them absolutely miserable over, and over, and over again until they figure out how the message ties to their choices.

Not once, ever, do I recall seeing an ill behaved kid out in public running amok in a restaurant, etc. Not a single time.

IMHO this is a KISS thing. Parent effectively. Period. Dot.  Provide for your kids, educate  your kids, and tolerate nothing but them being decent well behaved respectful and reasonable. Age appropriately of course.  These kids, are happy nearly without exception. These kids alse live as viable adults and raise kids just like them.

I don't like the sayings and wouldn't use them myself, and I get what everyone is saying. Many years ago, I was at a salad bar being monopolized by a woman holding a 2 year old. I just wanted to get my salad but wasn't able to maneuver around this woman very well as she hovered there pointing at each damn vegetable and asking her young child to choose! "Do you want the carrots?" [stand there for 3 full minutes] "What do you think of some green peppers?" [stand there] The child wouldn't/couldn't respond. She was too young--it was all too much for her/sensory overload. Never did Mom say, "Excuse me" or anything else to me. She just kept getting in the way and standing there wanting to give her young child a choice. 
I remember thinking, "That kid is being taught that she's the center of the universe. Hate to run into her when she grows up." 
Fast forward 25 years, and, believe me, I have. I always think back to that little salad bar, which, to me, represented parents catering to children in a ridiculous manner, pushing young kids to make decisions they are incapable of making, teaching children that their wants come first and that the world is not a shared place.

My sister in law rarely corrected my nephew when he was little and gave my brother the evil eye if he said, "[Son], we're talking. Don't interrupt us." This was a child who took a couple birthday gifts and threw them across the room at a party while his mother laughed as if he was cute. I love my nephew. He has a lot of good qualities, but he has in no way come close to meeting his potential, he takes advantage of his parents' generosity, and never helps them with anything (they endured an exhausting few months after a house fire...grown son helped with nothing). There you have it.