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Feel offended

EveryoneLies's picture I was walking through what SS will need to do tomorrow, we happened to touch on a few more other things, including his long shower without soap (see other post for this. What bothers me was the water waste, but per SS15 he thinks not knowing how to shower correctly is something embarrassing and would rather us not to talk to his therapist about it).

Out of all of the topic, SS made a snarky and creepy comment:

SS: So...I have a question for you

Me: Okay?

SS: So...what was the thumping noise in your room the other day?

Me: I don't know what you meant?

SS: You know, the other night, I couldn't sleep, and I heard this sound from your room, in the middle of the night.

Now I realize he was trying to talk about my sex life with his dad. (To be honest, thanks to SS, it's close to none, I'm not proud of it) I feel really offended but I told SS if he's so interested, he's free to ask his dad about it. He insisted he was just "joking" but I really feel this crosses the line. 

I don't know what I'm supposed to think about this. 


Winterglow's picture

I'd have looked him in the eye and said, "we were having sex. " And watched him squirm. 

EveryoneLies's picture


I don't really go in to his room, but might be a good come back if this crap happens again. (I hope not)

EveryoneLies's picture

I told him his dad and I are a married couple, and I said I can call his dad up right away to talk about it since he's so interested. SS was immediately "sorry" and that's when he said he "was just joking." Obviously he knew this is not how he would ask his dad if he was really just curious, but somehow he thought I would just suck this up. 


SeeYouNever's picture

Omg what a little creep he's trying to draw an equivalency between his sex life and yours. The big difference is that you aren't wasting water! And you're two married adults in your own home.

I would tell him that what you do in your bedrooms is your own business it only becomes other people's business when you do it in a communal space and waste resources like water!

And the line about not telling his therapist made me laugh. He's trying to make you feel just as embarrassed as he is what a dirty little boy.

EveryoneLies's picture

And funny thing is I truly don't judge him for jerking off (as long as it's done sure the thought of it sounds gross but I get it, it's part of life)  but somehow he wanted to judge me, his dad's wife, for banging his dad lol? This is the same boy who was recently really into porn too. 

We haven't told the therapist about him "forgetting" how to shower again. (Did mention that to them long time again since this issue keeps coming back) It's ridiculous because he thought he was maintaining his hygiene for us. 

I'm still so pissed.

TrueNorth77's picture

It's not only the content of what he said, but having the nerve to say it to you....

justmakingthebest's picture

Yeah, I would have spun that around to make him uncomfortable fast. Don't let him try to creep you out!

"Oh, you mean me and your dad having some pretty amazing sex? Yeah, it got a little loud. Can't help it sometimes though. We will try and keep it down tonight." "Sex? You know, what people in a marriage or committed relationship have? I am surprised you only heard it the other night... we  go at it every chance we can!" 

EveryoneLies's picture


I was only caught in the moment because I never thought he'd even say anything like this. He had a lot of other arsehole moments (like all teenagers do) but this one is just no okay. Even when I was a super rebellious teen this is not the thing I'd want to challenge my parents on.

la_dulce_vida's picture

I don't think this is a good idea. It will only feed into his pervy thought processes. He needs be put on the spot in front of his father by bringing it up for the father to answer.

There is an abundance of step-related FREE porn out there. What happens in your bedroom is private and he needs to learn to never ask those impertinent questions of you again. He needs to learn that you will always take those questions or comments to his father.

EveryoneLies's picture

Oh god, the thoughts of he watching step-related porns will be way too much for me (so far I haven't seen those keywords pops up...thank god. if this happens what I would worry the most is my DD. Because of our relationship I don't think SS will fantasize anything stepmom least I hope not.....)

I did tell DH, and DH was plenty upset (as he should be). I don't know what DH was thinking though. If we argue it's always because of SS. I didn't ask DH's thoughts this time because he's already very upset.

la_dulce_vida's picture

I would tell him you were fast asleep but you'll be sure to ask his dad what HE was up to.

Then, ask your husband right in front of SS. That should shut the little turd up.


EveryoneLies's picture

Told DH, because he should know what his son said.

SS later said he made this whole thing up, he didn't hear anything, whatever. I don't know what is true and what not. What he said to me wasn't appropriate, that won't change.

Cover1W's picture

He's trying to one up you. Like you are his equal.

OSD did this to me once, when she wasn't showering and stank. I told her, when we were in my car that she smelled and needed to shower. A few minutes later she told me I needed to shave my armpits. That was the last time she was in my car. I don't remember what I said exactly but something to the effect of it's not encroaching on your comfort level and drop it.

Cover1W's picture

Ah, it was when we were still getting along so I rolled with it. One year later and she wouldn't have been in my car in the first place.

EveryoneLies's picture

That was really rude of her, especially coming from someone who didn't have good hygiene habits. SMH 

AllIsFairInLoveAndWar's picture

Seems like he was trying to make you feel embarrassed too. Id have messed with him to be honest. Definetely would have mentioned THAT to his therapist and your DH. I also have a super low tolerence for boys being creepy when it comes to topics sexual in nature. It falls under sexual harrasment in my mind. 

EveryoneLies's picture

Yea I told him this is something I might talk to his therapist about and immediately SS was like he's real sorry. He's only sorry that ge might not look nice in other people's eyes. But why should he look nice if he's indeed not. I dont think he understand this though

reedle2021's picture

What a little creep.  I would have told him what goes on in your bedroom is not his business and that his question is inappropriate as is any question about what happens between you and his dad.  And then I would let his dad address his inappropriate behavior. 

EveryoneLies's picture

Dh has been really mad about this remark and hadn't wanted to talk to SS at all. I know this sounds like SS got away but it's not. Its stressful living with this kid and im Not the only one feeling this way

reedle2021's picture

Yes, it sounds like SS would be stressful to have around.  :(  It's reassuring that DH is mad about that comment, hopefully he'll eventually address it with SS. 

Hang in there friend.. we're here for you. **HUGS**

strugglingSM's picture

He's trying to provoke a reaction. I worked in education for years and some kids think that's their power, to say things that are sexual in nature as if they know what they're talking about. One SS got himself into trouble because at age 11 or 12 he was posting gaming videos online with a friend who was always making sexually suggestive comments...that I guarantee he did not understand. I would be offended, too and also avoid him. 

I would probably respond with asking him what the sounds coming from his bedroom in the middle of the night were...

EveryoneLies's picture

Well, this is a kid who search for "slave girls" porns. He knew what he was talking about. (Point is not to judge his choice of porn here) I can no longer consider him an innocent-knows-nothing-about-the-adult-world child. 

by the way, he said his checking out porn is purely just to be rebellious, totally not to jerk off at all. Right. I must be real stupid in his eyes.