I have been absent to this site for a bit. Truthfully now looking back I am reminded of how dark our situation was. UPDATE: SD moved out to grandmas house, we (DH & I)started couples counciling, focusing on communication. Then with the kids left in the house (we still have 4) we began family counseling. We all are learning about each other and each others needs in a controled and focused enviroment. It has been a God-send. The change in the house has been so dramatic that DH does not want SD to move back. HE had to come to that conclusion himself, and it was a painful road for him. I had to learn to listen and not try to "fix" anything -- just be there. It was very difficult. But distancing myself was the best thing I could have done. I did not "remove" myself and was there when called upon, but only if I was called upon. In the meantime SD pretty much self-destructed all her family relationships all on her own...only I was not there to be blamed for it this time.

Thank you every one here for your awesome support and understanding!