My previous blog was all about why I began disliking my skids. Well, mainly three of them, and now I really only have problems with two of them. Occasionally the OSS gets on my nerves but for the most part I would have to say he's a pretty good kid. SD, and SS9 are the real problems.
I love my DH, I know I didn't clarify much in my last post but he's not the evil man I accidentaly made him out to be. He does have a tendency to let his kids off the hook more than mine, and I've that it won't be tolerated. If his kids get off with a warning than so do mine.
But, I'll just say it. I don't like his parenting. I do not agree with the veiw point of "they're just expressing their anger" no, my kids get to express themselves in a calm way. If they are agry they will tell me. I will address the issue and we will solve it. There is no telling me what they think I should do. There is no telling me what they will and will not do, or what they will and will not eat.
They will not tell me what they are going to do. They will politely let me know what they want to do and then ask me if it is ok with me. I usually have no problems with them playing on games or socializing as long as chores are done, grades are passing, and manners were used.
His children do not act that way, and it doesn't seem like they are expected to act that way. I have a rule in my house that no dessert shall be had if the plate is not cleaned at dinner. His children will follow that rule whether they or DH agrees with it or not. So...I'm labeled as mean.
DH and I have had many talks, and arguments reguarding our different parenting styles and how are children behave. I stand firm that if you're going to be strict with my kids than you must be strict on yours.
DH: I was only strict with your rules because you are. My kids have never had those rules that's why I'm not strict about them.
Me: Well, in this house those are the rules for any one under the age of 18. But, if you will not inforce them on yours then you won't be inforcing them on mine. I will handle it.
DH: I don't want to seperate everything. I love your kids and want to be a part of their family.
Me: Well, than you had better stop giving one set of rules to them, and one set of rules to yours. Cause they are pissed and have every right to be.
DH: I understand, I will fix this I promise.
I am happy to say that after that talk he did start inforcing the rules to every kid. Sometimes he reverts to easy going dad who's always fun, and instead of saying something, I give him a taste of his own medicine. That seems to get my point across better than coming at him head on.
But, he's still asking me to love his children. There has been arguements about it where he says I'm just heartless to kids that aren't mine.
I'm not really not a kid person. Don't get me wrong, I love mine with every thing I have. But others...I can take them or leave them. When I'm out to eat somewhere that isn't geared towards kids I expect that parent with the screaming kid to shut the kid up or take it outside. It's not my fault your kid doesn't know how to act in public, nor is it any one elses fault here trying to enjoy the meal they pay for. Same thing when I'm at the movies.
When I see a child screaming, smacking at their mothers, and calling them names while shopping becuase they can't get the toy or candy it really pisses me off. And I'll leave, not wanting to blurt out your kid needs an ass whoopin. So maybe I am heartless when it comes to other peoples kids. Maybe I'm hearless when it comes to bad parenting. I don't know, and truthfully I don't spend too much time worrying about it. I take satisfaction in the fact that my kids are brats with an overwhelming sense of entitlement. I look forward to seeing where my kids are in 10 years and these other kids are. I tell DH all the time...I may be heartless, but you married me, so what does that say about you?