When you "find" something in this house, it is not automatically yours. For example, if I "find" $20 in someone else's wallet, it is not mine. I'm happy to give you stuff, but you need to ask first.

Even if you are the primary user of some item around here, it is not automatically yours. Don't cry when someone swings on the front yard swing. You are 7, not 2. Don't go sprinting out of the house when you see someone on it and insist you were using it.

It does not matter who had something first. Turns can still be taken.

Pretty shrewd that you still have your dad fooled...but the rest of us all know when you lie to get your brother and my son in trouble.

We can all tell the sound of your fake cry. One of the unwanted side effects from using it so much is that it is so recognizable.

If they were going to let you skip 2nd grade and enter 3rd grade straight from first grade, how come you can barely read, can't spell, and can't do addition or subtraction? I do not feel you are underskilled for a 7 year old, especially with being young for your grade...but I'm questioning the the qualification to skip a grade. Also, you'd think your Dad would have heard something about this. Could it maybe be...I don't know...untrue?

A couple turns into the game Sorry is too soon to either pout that you're losing or gloat that you're winning. It's Sorry. A lot of shit can happen. How about trying to enjoy the game?

Thank you for saying I'm the best cook. No sarcasm here. Really, truly...thank you.

This is Nickelodeon's fault, not yours, but every time you run into the living room to chatter about something because it's a commercial on your show, it's while something important is happening on what I'm watching. I don't want to ignore a kid because of a TV show...so come on, Nickelodeon, sync your commercials up with the other channels.

Chips are not breakfast, lunch, or dinner. But you'd know that if your Dad taught you better.

Don't chase the puppies unless you want them to never come to you. Let them run after you instead.

If I can hear you in my bed with the door closed while you're talking to your dad in the very same living room you are in, you are talking too loud. But you'd know that if your dad taught you better.

Why is your Dad such an idiot? Why can he not correct you or teach you any decent manners or behavior? Why is he so defensive and ridiculously sensitive that he can't hear anything about you? I used to wonder why he couldn't see these things, but now I see he doesn't actually pay that much attention. Why do I wind up playing with you more than he does? I suspect he doesn't like you as much as he thinks he's supposed to. I understand why, and if he wasn't so defensive and sensitive, maybe we could talk about it...