I am so proud of hubby, he has seen the light!
Well, I didn't make it the 30 days with my mouth shut because hubby called to order a house meeting last night. I am so proud of him! SD19 sat down and he asked if she was planning on staying with us or moving out and she came out like a lion, "I'll stay as long as I don't have to pay rent" with a very entitled look on her face. I then asked why she felt she should not have to pay rent and she thru her finger at hubby and said "gram never charged you rent".....um no she didn't but that was because he moved out at 16. She then said another particular family member never charged him rent when he stayed with her over the summer.....he said um, I was 8 years old and would visit during my summer break and she still sat there with that entitled look on her face. There was a lot of back and forth but hubby stood his ground, told her he wanted her to pay $300 a month and that now that she is no longer is school there is no physical or mental reason she can't work full time and have plenty of money to pay rent and her other obligations. I even offered to give her the budget outline I use (blank stare). She's claiming that she can't work full time because she is going to beauty school in the fall and hubby came out with 'that is 10 months away, if you even do go". She then stated that she thinks she wants to live with a family member who won't charge rent....we can only assume that would be grandma or an aunt. He said go right ahead, he said I don't care what they say about me, this is MY house and I will run it the way I see fit. She slowly went from a lion to a lamb. We said that if she wants to play house with her boyfriend, that is fine but they aren't going to do it on our dime (most night lately she doesn't even come home and she brought that up too, that she's never home. And hubby said move in with boyfriend and his mommy and daddy then but if you want to treat us like roommates you will pay rent. I then stated that I felt her mom and dad didn't do a very good job preparing her for adulthood but it's here now and she needs to start acting like an adult. This is the real deal sweetie, we are under no obligation (if you are not in school) to finance your lifestyle. I mentioned how she's spending money hand over fist and that as a young adult you don't get to do that, it is earned. First you pay bills like the rest of us and if/when you have extra that is when you get to go to movies, concerts, out to eat, etc. The gravy train has stopped.
Hubby gave her two weeks to give him her decision, told her she needs to do some thinking about what she wants to do and let him know. Told her to think twice about moving in with grandma because grandma will not tolerate her not coming home. We doubt she'll go to grandma's anyway as that is very far away from boyfriend and she must be up boyfriends ass 24/7.
I was secretly shocked at how strong hubby was and he later told me that the more she talked and was entitled, the madder he was getting so she basically did it to herself. if she had been more a part of our family from the beginning he would have felt bad when the tears flowed but he feels so detached from her by now that her tears did nothing to him. She didn't say much and at the end of the conversation I said that to her "you never say anything, is there anything you want to say" and she teared up, I said are you scared to talk because I have never seen your dad lay a hand on you and she said sometimes she cries for no reason to which I said maybe you have depression and need to get some mental health help (blank stare) because it's not normal to just cry for no reason.
As soon as the talk was over, she was out of her to boyfriends, we got a text a few hours later that she wouldn't be home. Yeah!
Can't wait to see what she decides
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Comments
congrats that your hubby
congrats that your hubby stood his ground!
Excellent. That must be a
Excellent. That must be a load off of your mind.
"I'll stay as long as I don't have to pay rent"
Like she would be doing you a favor by living there.
I know right, that's exactly
I know right, that's exactly how she came across, as though Daddy couldn't possibly want me to move out so i'll stay but it will be on my terms. I'm still in a bit of awe over her attitude. Bet she's in shock today too while she's at the boyfriends playing house. I'm sure she has contacted all relatives to see who will let her stay for free. Pathetic, she wants nothing to do with her family unless she needs something.
Oh my, i feel for you. I
Oh my, i feel for you. I would be tempted to move out if it came down to that around here. I am personally hoping that my SD does what yours did, and skips around to various family members house, give them all a taste of what she has put us thru because to them "we are mean parents". I think she could start at Grams, sleep all day, don't call when she doesn't come home, don't clean up after herself, etc. Then off to Auntie's house, where she will wear out her welcome real fast. We're positive that BF's mommy has already been given the sob story about how horrible we are as well.