I hope it's enough. I'm right there with you...the only reason I have some hope is his kids are older and closer to being out the house...at least that's what I tell myself on the bad days!

Good luck!

Pretty much the story of my life up there lol. I have only been with my boyfriend for 9 months and SS2 (for technicality sake "FSS2" although I do consider him my SS) has been living with us full time since March. I read te other posters frustrations on here and wonder if I'll wind up the same. And as it is, I already get frustrated/overwhelmed at times but I love my BF so much and honestly right now he DOES need me and I couldn't imagine up & leaving him right now.. And like you said, I would feel awful if someone did the same to me. Does love conquer all? Probably not, but for now it's all I got to hold on to and I wouldn't change it for the world.

I knew about DH's kids before we got married, a sixteen year old boy and twins (boy and girl) aged 10, we had them with us constantly every school holiday and weekend for the year before we got full custody of them.
It's been hell on wheels since puberty hit the twins, pure hell, but I love DH and the only thing we ever really faught over was his way of raising kids v mine.
I am more than certain that your SKids will not turn out as bad as our twins, their mother is a sociopath and the fruit did not fall far from the tree...the twins finally made it to 18. The girl is back with her mother and dancing, turning tricks and serving shots, using drugs and hanging with drug dealers and users. The boy dropped out of school in sophomore year, caused havoc here and then left to live at a friends' house and moved about as often as he was asked to pay rent or contribute. The boy is currently using one of our rooms upstairs, his old room. As soon as he gets a job he has to pay his way! DH makes him work with him to pay his vehicle insurance...we need him mobile to help so it makes sense to keep him on the policy.
Elder SS is not bad at all, he has a different BM and all is well regarding relationships with us, her and her extended family. They all come to visit with us and we eat together and have a great time.
I suggest that you outline with their dad what he feels your role with them should be, let him know that there might be some problems adjusting for them, and for you, and discuss how you should handle them. If you do this in advance then maybe things might go a lot more smoothly for you, I hope so!
I would not throw away a good relationship because the kids are a nightmare, they grow up and leave and it's DH and I's turn to take care of ourselves and our relationship has gotten deeper with time too.
I am guessing that the horror stories you have read on here are, maybe, a little offputting. I know that I stayed because I love DH and I love the SKids more than they'll ever know or deserve, I still remember the cute 10 year olds that they were!
The bullshit that came our way we just dealt with as and when it arose, we survived!

DON'T DO IT! DON'T DO IT! DON'T DO IT!!

I realize I may look like a hypocrite right now because I'm telling you to run when that's what I don't want to hear from others... but you're not even living together!!!! Now is the time to call it off!!! Don't marry him, don't move in with him!! If you're annoyed now... times that by 1000 and then you may have a hint of what it's like to live with them.

Kids that aren't yours will make you miserable. No matter how good and loveable and well behaved they are. It's almost a fact of life.

I live with my Boyfriend and wish almost every single day that I didn't. I almost spiral into a deep depression when his kids come over. I hate being around them sooo much I'm thinking about ending our relationship just because how much I don't like being around his kids. Calling it off before all this would be so much easier than doing it later. Now it's a matter of getting the guts to put the house up for sale... sort all our stuff.... Now I just stay because it's easier. But be warned... I HATE how my life has turned out. Because of kids that are not mine.

I LOVE love love my SO, so much, thats why I have found this site to try and find ways to cope, vent and find others who are in a similar situation so I don't go nuts. When his kids are around I go into a deep depression like baseballgirly and do everything I can to stay away, hise out in my room, make plans etc. but we live together so thats kind of hard sometimes. When kids aren't around we are happy, when kids are around we fight bc SD15 brings her drama bullshit and literally EVERYTIME she's over it's always something. It's sickening.

We fell in love and moved kinda quick. If I had a crystal ball or even another stepparent warn me about what I was walking into (I was completely blindsided-never even dated a man with kids) I wouldn't have done it or atleast would have took it super slow NEVER would've moved in with him.

p.s. That 8 year old is going to turn into a preteen hormonal little bitch and manipulate her dad and be a complete bitch to you and you will be the scapegoat for everything and the reason that everything in her life is fucked up. And there's nothing you can do about it. And your SO will spoil her and baby her and make excuses for her shitty attitude towards you bc she will make him feel bad and you will hate her. She will play all of you against eachother and you will hate your life.

Good Luck, I'm still in lobve with SO so I'm sticking it out for now but I really don't know if it's worth it or not, I'm thinking NOT

If I knew then, what I know now....I'm really not sure what I'd do. I love DH more than anything, I know he is The One. It just so happens that in my case The One came with a She-devil. Things between DH and I and SD were really good before we got married (she was almost 2 when we started dating and 4 when we married), of course she had her hellion traits then but being only 4 she wasn't too bad. Never having had kids myself, I figured it was 'normal' behavior. Now almost 5 years on from when we started dating, I'd take him and leave her if I could. If I'd known how much hell this little girl would put me through, I may not have went through with it even though it would've killed me to let DH go.

god story of my life! I've been depressed on and off lately because I love my bf so much, but I'm fighting with myself over whether I should stick around or find someone without the baggage....its a horrible feeling to think of having to walk away from the man you love because you may or may not regret it in a few years.....and he has twin 4 year olds...I can just imagine the next 14 years....theyre sweet now, but I know how teenage girls are....Im destined to become the evil stepmother..ugh makes me want to cry right now just thinking about all of this again...

I have asked this question myself...Love is not enough if everything else is screwed up. Sometimes we have to sit down and think logically....realistically....and not emotionally.

I do this once and a while and I talk to my SO (once I have calmed down) We have to be tough... because being a Step Parent is a hard job....but being a spouse and parent in general is not easy either.