To everyone who posts on this site. Not that I necessarily agree with all the views expressed - but even those I don't agree with give much food for thought.

I've been reading and reading for ages and the one thing that has helped more than anything is the advice re disengaging. It is this which I have done my best to do and really works for me. Now, however, circumstances are changing and the manipulation and demands of my SO's adult son 30 is more than likely going to split us up and that breaks my heart.

It's a long story - but to cut it a little - SO and I were just friends for a couple of years and together for around 8 years - living together the last 6 or so. Her son has been around for most of that apart from brief spells. She has always been rubbish with money and when we first started living together she had months of unopened mail which she asked that I help her with. It was then that I saw the pretty big sums of money leaking from her bank account - turned it to be him and was thousands and apparently not the first time and not just from her - also from her mother.

Even this discovery didn't stop him and he continued stealing, lying and basically putting them both in financial shit. We shut down every avenue of him getting money from my SO and her brother got power of attorney over their mothers finances - he still fleeces her by getting her to buy his food and shops online with her credit card. The old lady knows that unless she buys him he won't be interested.

So - the old lady (who I get on with very well indeed) is getting quite frail and the place she lives has huge overheads which could make her run out of money. So I suggested that my SO sell her house (which she hated anyway) and her mother sell her flat and they combine the proceeds to buy a house big enough that we could be separate and she could keeps as much independence as possible but we would around especially at night.

House is sold - son moved in with his partner and SO and I are in a rental. Old lady's flat has a buyer and on Saturday SO and I had a second viewing of a house and we're about to put in an offer.

Then - on a visit a few hours ago - SO tells me that her son and his partner will be moving in too. I basically went up and down the wall. I said that I was not prepared to live under the same roof as that arsehole and deal with his passive aggressive shit and dramarama ever again. She isn't getting it - she says it will be short term so that they can save a deposit to buy somewhere of their own - she won't put a time limit on it - so I know that her greedy son will not save and will not move unless someone sticks a toe up his arse!! She says he will buy and cook his own food (he won't), he will contribute financially (he won't) he will do his own washing, ironing and cleaning (he won't). He will, in fact, do fuck all - which is exactly what he did before.

My inclination is to pack my bags and buggier off now. Your comments would be most welcome. Thank you for reading if you got this far!!!