This is not what I asked for...
SS13 today proceeded to tell BD12 that he got nothing he asked for for Christmas.
He proceeded to tell her that he MADE a list and that we got him nothing off of it. Yep, your right we did not buy you all toys.
BD12 proceeds to tell SS13 that he is lucky he got anything at all!! (It is amazing the things that come out of her mouth sometimes 
Then to top it all off.... He wants to take everything back to BM's with him..Ummm no...
He has no clothes here as it is because we fell for his sob story about not having any clothes at BM's and we sent everything over there. See what being nice gets us.. A BIG KICK IN THE ARSE!!
I almost broke this morning and DH gave me a hug and handled it all and told me not to let him ruin our Christmas.
I have been trying all week to disengauge, any words of wisdom?
Yes, resolve that you are
Yes, resolve that you are not going to give him anything until his attitude changes. He is lucky to have such a loving SM in his life.
His behavior is extremely poor. All these kids focused on material items to fill the hole. It's pathetic and very sad. I fear for our society in the future.
How about a giftless holiday where SS volunteers to help the homeless at a soup kitchen? That might wake him up.
Your lucky that your DH is
Your lucky that your DH is willing to not let SS ruin your christmas- I am not so lucky.. keep remembering that if you had given birth to the lil twirp, he would be different, more rules, etc.. and have the maturity that your BD does. Be strong!!My ss16 was pissed cause one of his presents was a "pre-owned " XBOX game.. ! Just remember to not let him get to you, DISENGAGE your emotions as much as you can! it's the only way I can live!
I remember the Christmas I
I remember the Christmas I got one present. It was an Erector Set - a metal Leggo type toy where one built framework buildings, cranes and such.
I was disappointed that I got only one thing (an expensive one I now admit) but when I look back on those times I realize that my parents were doing the right thing. Surely such a toy advanced my knowledge of physics instead of the "turn key" stuff they have now where no imagination is involved.
With every complaint my kids gave me about getting "stuff" they got a little less stuff the next time. Now that they're adults it doesn't seem to have left them with psychological scars. lol
One time I stopped the car when my kid was pointing out McDonalds and told him that everytime he pointed out one I would make it a point to not stop at one for a month. Silence from that point on as McD's went by for weeks without being commented on. Finally out of the blue we got a order of french fries (crisps?) and the habit was broken.
I'd suggest you do some of the same.