You are here

Your answers were rude and eye opening

Fruits's picture

Submitted by Fruits on Thu, 07/28/2016 - 7:41am

So I quit responding because no one was listening to what I was saying. I wasn't defending the other boy. I was upset that ss used a knife. If ss magically grew big enough and whipped the bullys butt, I would be okay with that. It was the fact that he used a knife knowing he could kill the boy. I don't think it was premeditated. SS is meek and quiet. He avoids conflict at all costs. He was at the skate park when the bully got there. The bully went there looking for him. I never asked ss why he didn't leave before I posted here but I did last night. I went into his room and asked if we could talk. He didn't want to but I said tough I need to understand why you did this. I am judging you and I don't like it. So he closed his book and talked to me. He said there was no where to go. Had he left he would have been all alone with this kid in the parking lot. He has/had been keeping the knife with him every where he went in case that fool jumped him again. He doesn't care he almost killed him and he wished he had so he didn't have to be afraid anymore. After talking with him I shared with dh the part about wanting to kill him so he didn't have to be afraid and I suggested counseling. Dh disagreed so I CALLED BM!! Yes, I know I was wrong but I feel that what he said about being afraid needed to be addressed by an expert. Bm was at first put off by my calling but I explained everything and what led me to sit and talk with him and how I am worried about him. I didn't mention my fears about him hurting me or my kids because I am not really feeling that way anymore. Not after talking to him. My concern is his emotional state right now. He is acting normal but has these pent up feelings. She said she would schedule an appointment with a therapist!! She thanked me for my concern and all that I have done to help him. So you guys really helped me out and made things better (for a minute). Thank you for all the responses and tough love!!!! I felt pretty damn good until this morning I when I saw an empty ups box in the trash. I asked dh what he ordered and he said he got ss a new KNIFE!!! I was about to loose my mind when ss whipped it out and shoved the blade part at me. Yes. Handle in his hand and blade part at me and said feel how sharp it is. Isn't it cool? This one could really slice and dice. HA HA HA HA HA. He thought it was funny and so did dh. I went off on and asked him why the hell he shoved it at me and they both got upset and said that wasn't what he was doing but admitted he did do that. He didn't intend to upset me he just wanted to show me his new knife. I am so upset and pissed off. Dh is upset with me because now I am picking on ss. Are you kidding me!!!!! So now what? Did I over react?

Comments

twoviewpoints's picture

Submitted by twoviewpoints on Thu, 07/28/2016 - 8:56am

This kid isn't a psycho aiming to do violence on you or his siblings. He isn't a danger to neighborhood or random strangers walking down the street... and he isn't about to hold the blade of a sharp knife and offer you the handle.

But he does need counseling to understand what all he experienced. From the bullying to the self defense to the almost taking another's life. He also needs a lesson on properly handling weapons. Yes, that knife is a weapon and the way he displayed it 'at' you was no difference than pointing a gun at you (even when unloaded)... it's a no-no.

I have no problems with you contacting BM. If she's the parent that can and will take what happened in her son's life seriously, then yes. She was the obvious go to parent to voice your concerns.

ESMOD's picture

Submitted by ESMOD on Thu, 07/28/2016 - 10:18am

I also agree, good call on talking to the BM. This kid does need some therapy. His dad is also not really handling things in the best way.

I would think that the best response in this case would have been "I'm so sorry you had to defend yourself like that. It's a very serious thing that you had to do and I'm sorry that it got to that point. Not every confrontation can/or should be handled this way. Knives are nothing to joke about".

I would tell the kid it was terrible that he got to the point where this was his only solution.

A therapist would be good helping him understand the gravity of his actions.

misSTEP's picture

Submitted by misSTEP on Thu, 07/28/2016 - 1:06pm

I hope your DH is saving up money because he will need it for bail. I don't think this SS is necessarily a bad kid but he has a lot of important people in his life who are acting like knifing the bully was a GREAT thing and an APPROPRIATE response to the situation!

notsurehowtodeal's picture

Submitted by notsurehowtodeal on Thu, 07/28/2016 - 5:16pm

Your DH is an idiot. The second that kid pointed the knife at you he should have taken it away from him. There are rules to handling a knife just like their are for guns. The first would be don't point it at anyone.

It sounds to me like they are both ignoring the severity of what happened. He not only stabbed someone, but he did it in a way to inflict that maximum amount of damage. And then he gets rewarded with a new knife.

not2sureimsaneanymore's picture

Submitted by not2sureimsanea... on Sun, 07/31/2016 - 1:31am

So... your DH didn't teach your SS the proper way to present a knife and got him one? 'm assuming then, he didn't teach the kid any knife safety at all. SMDH, you got an idiot DH that's for sure.