First, I already agree with any future responses that tell me my DH is a clueless piss poor parent. Now that we got that out of the way, DH and BM have a poorly defined CS order. It's supposed to be shared custody but BM has only exercised her visitation a few times. As a result, DH and I have had SD11 full time for over 6 yrs now. DH is military so we live far far from BM and she has not once tried to seek custody of any kind for over 6 years (I don't know how a mom can not even put up a small protest for custody but that's another story). We are full timers and SD11 is a chronic liar, a master manipulator, and a very slow learner when it comes to life skills and relationships. DH and I have explained simple concepts and tried to teach but she cannot grasp the simplest of concepts. DH is so frustrated with her and I am at wits end since my role as SM is so conflicting (even as a full time SM) I have become depressed, anxious, and I'm on all types of meds for physical and mental pains.

DH said last week that he can't keep watching us be destroyed by SD and her resistance to us. He said he plans to contact BM and tell her it's her turn to be the full timer. I immediately thought that's a bad idea (as much as I would LOVE to have BM take the responsibility she has denied her whole life)

So today, DH was arguing with me about SD (our only source of argument) and he blurted out that he's trying to "improve my life, even to the extent of sending SD away." I knew right then he will blame me forever for "sending" her away even though I'm the one who keeps telling him it's a bad idea. BM is a felon who got off easy and only spent 1 night in jail. But she can't be trusted with anything, especially a child.

If any of you have foresight on this type of thing, am I right that I should talk DH out of sending SD back where she came from? I can see an endless number of things going wrong. SD hardly knows BM. BM will probably try to rape us with CS. DH will be spending all his time off flying thousands of miles for visitation and leave me and BD4 home alone. DH will become Disney Dad and buy ridiculous things for SD after he forgets what a self-centered narcissist she is.