I just feel like I can not win
My dh, son and I moved from MA to Louisianna for his job. I was very much looking forward to the move and the distance this would put between us and the drama. I was also looking forward to living like a real family, instead of this disjointed group that we seemed to be.
He had his weekend w/his kids, which seemed to barely include my son and I, as he had to spend much of that time where they lived an hour and a half away at various soccer committments. My new child had to give up his daddy EOW. I was looking forward to more time spent w/the man I love and father to my child and the one on the way.
Well, we are down here, have been here for roughly 6 or 7 weeks, and we have seen him LESS than we used to, IF THAT IS POSSIBLE, due to the oil crisis down here. He is gone constantly. Its fine, I know its his job.. but, being 6 mths pregnant and keeping up w/a 14 mth old is wearing me down and out. My back has now been giving me problems since over night yesterday and its not getting any better. I am beyond pyshically exhausted and do not know how I am going to get through the next 10 hrs til I can put the 14mth old to bed for the night. I have been crying for 30 mins and see no end in sight.
If we hadnt moved (which, by the way, was not an option) I would have family around that could help me.. hell, I would still have a job, and daycare for the 14mth old and I wouldnt be as freakin tired... but then I wouldnt have what I am looking for.. a family life.
I just wanted everyone to know, the grass isnt always greener on the other side of the fence.
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sorry.. I forgot to mention.
sorry.. I forgot to mention. The 14mth old is only napping for a total of 30 mins A DAY.. that is not a typo.. he takes 1 nap and its for 30 mins. He literally is going from about 630 am til 7pm when I can finally put him in his crib. At that point, I am cleaning up from the day (toys, dirty dishes, etc)
I am so sorry...kids can be
I am so sorry...kids can be exhausting, but when you throw everything else we have to put up with it sometimes seems unbearable. Take a deep breath. Remember that your baby must have peace in order to avoid problems later on. Yes, easier said than done. Watch a movie that relaxes you and if you can't keep everyting in it's place, then find a room in your house to throw crap in and lock it! Wait until you are more rested or your DH can help you w/the house stuff. Go buy paper napkins, plates, cups, etc...at least a couple of days a week.
Hugs! PS I have an autistic kiddo that I take care of 24/7...we moved to ensure my DH kept his job to pay the crazy ex-witch...I never get a break either and find myself crying because of exhaustion...but we have to let it go sometimes and just watch TV or some other brainless activity every once in a while to relax
herewegoagain, yes, this
herewegoagain, yes, this morning's tears are due to exhaustion. I am craving a break and I know its not coming anytime soon. When my dh left last for work (which is not a 9-5 type thing) he said he had no idea when they would be back. I keep looking out the window, willing the boat to float by and back into port.. but, seriously, its just a pipe dream at this point.
I hate that you are in this position as well, but it is comforting to know that I am not alone in my frustration and exhaustion and not a horrible mother for crying knowing that 10 hrs is a long time from now.
Sorry.. he does sleep
Sorry.. he does sleep through the night now. But being pregnant and given his high energy level during the day, I need that time he should be napping!! lol.. I just can not keep up on 8 hrs of sleep (when i am finally able to go to bed from picking up the day's mess)
And yes, we moved far away from friends family and the skids (and their bm's drama). They live in a New England state.
PS get the baby whisperer
PS get the baby whisperer book...I think there is one for toddlers too and it was a life saver for me!
Oh, I forgot to also mention
Oh, I forgot to also mention (can you tell how tired I am) that my MIL has offered to come down and help me out while dh is gone. Part of me would LOVE to take her up on this offer.. the other part is worried that it will actually equal even MORE work for ME.
Thoughts? more work or a big help?
Hey girl! I had no idea you
Hey girl! I had no idea you were pregnant again.... that's rough. I know what you are feeling with having no help. I never did either. I'm so sorry, I wish I could help you. You can always PM me or catch me on FB if you need to chat! HUGS
Thanks ladies.. I mostly
Thanks ladies..
I mostly needed to get it out.. I felt like I was going to burst. He fell asleep in his high chair eating his waffle, so ran over to the couch to lay down.. that was 20 mins, but so worth it.. now I am just hoping that didnt ruin the 30 min nap he would normally take after lunch.
Sia, I am pregnant and we
Sia, I am pregnant and we were told its a girl this time. we shall see.. lets just say, I am holding onto his baby clothes, in case I need them for the next baby.. should she come out a he! lol..
Crayon, yes, energy sapping is definitely a way to describe it. I am not one that can normally nap during the day, but when I am pregnant, I can put my head down and am pretty much out! This time around though.. I dont get many opportunities to do that!
oh honey I know it's hard but
oh honey I know it's hard but you have to think the oil crisis will end and you'll have the family life you finally want.
My son is 9 months old and does not even sleep through the night, 2 hours and wakes to eat and we can't get him to stop and yet I would give ANYTHING to be able to not work and stay home with him full-time. We even have SS full-time and he's evil (trust me he really is) so the fact that you don't have to deal with the stepkids also a blessing.
I know it is hard but truth is some people would give their right arm to have what you do. Hang in there it will get easier and you have to think you are pregnant so you've got to be exhausted but just think what you get in the long run a family life raising your beautiful children away from all the drama of BM and the stepkids
Frustrated, just wanted to
Frustrated, just wanted to say, I am so glad you are getting a fresh start, and hope it all works out for you! I know it doesn't seem like it now, but this too will pass.
Welcome to the South too
I am so glad there are good people trying to help with the crisis there. God bless you and your family, and congrats on new baby!
Hang in there. It has only
Hang in there. It has only been a few weeks and you are dealing with a lot right now.
A rambunctious toddler, pregnancy hormones, etc...
Each of the things you are dealing with is a knee bender as far as stress is concerned. Moving, a toddler, being pregnant, etc ......
Grab a half gallon of your favorite Ben and Jerry's flavor, slip the kid a mickey (a shot of coconut rum in his sippy cup of milk) and when he passes out eat the icecream while watching a Lifetime channel chick flick.
This too will pass and you will be fine.
Or you could always call your mother to come down and help. I know my mom would be all over helping my wife were she/we in a similar situation to what you are in at the moment.