First of all, thank you to everyone who took the time to read about our situation and give advice.

However, we do have legal custody. LB is ours to deal with according to the courts.

Second, FH and I have discussed the bootcamp or juvenile delinquent thing. The town we live in actually holds KY's only maximum security juvenile detention center. About a year or so, LB spent a weekend there and then came home. Then, he got in trouble again a few months later. He spent another week there and has been home ever since. LB has a court appearance tomorrow. It is the first one in this new case. We aren't really sure what this judge is going to say/do because this is a different judge in a different county from last time. However, this judge is aware of the previous case. And, at the preliminary meeting, FH suggested that LB be sent off somewhere because, apparently, he has no sense of action and consequence. After last night's incident, FH plans on reiterating these happenings tomorrow.

I hate to see LB have to go away, but I really think it may be all that will help.

Although I understand that some children have som inherent sadistic tendencies, I don't think this is LB's problem necessarily. You would have to understand BM. Basically, she's nuts. She has 8 children. The oldest is 30 years old and in prison for drug trafficking. The youngest is LB who is 12. Well, you already know about his issues already. My FH is number 5 out of the 8. He and his 2 older sisters were basically raised by their aunts through their young childhood. When one of the big sister's was only 16, BM kicked her out. Keep in mind, they were living in Chicago at the time. After that big sister moved to KY. about 2 years later, when FH was only 14, he moved back out of BM's house and moved in with big sister in KY.

These types of patterns even carry over to the youngest three. The two older of them have done stints living with the big sisters and now LB is with us.

BM seems to have ingrained in LB a sense that nothing is his fault. Apparently, from the time he was 2 or 3, she always blamed his behavior on someone else. Either his older siblings provoked him, his teachers picked on him because he is hispanic, the cops pick on their family because of the big brother.... blah, blah, blah. I really think this may be the basis of LB's issues.

He continually tells me that he got in trouble by my FH because of me. the other day he said "God! This is the 3rd time today you got me in trouble!" after FH had reprimanded him for back-talking.

LB says he hates me. I think he is angry about his dad leaving, about being sent to live with us, about leaving his friends, about not having his big brother all to himself, about his other big brother going to jail, because BM continually breaks promises and is inconsistent. Maybe he is running out of people to blame, and I am the easiest person to place it all on.

I would like to think that some consistency, fairness, routine, kindness and love would fix it all. But that has already failed. I agree that it is time for some major intervention. Hopefully, years down the road, when he is in his 20's, he will be able to look back and appreciate that FH and I were just doing the best we could.