Merry Freakin Christmas!!!
SOOOOOO last year DH stated that this would be the first and last year that his kids opened presents at everyones house. He wanted both familes ( his and mine) to bring presents to our house so kids could open from everyone at once. I know some families do this but mine never did. And his parents didn't want to miss the girls opening gifts. SO then we all forgot about it. Well last night he starts with the same BS and states this is the way its gonna be..blah blah blah. SO I just wanted to lay it on the line for him. This is what I said,
You have a lot of nerve bringing two kids into my family that you had before you met me and saying to my parents that they have to treat your kids the exact same as any children my brothers or I have. Then you say oh and by the way you have to buy the same number of presents for all the kids but you also have to change your traditions because I don't like them. And since I don't want my girls to have to watch their half-siblings or step-cousins ( we would never refer to the kids with these titles I just wanted to make the point) open presents with their grandparents when they don't have any to open because they are all back at our house, you have to make sure everyone else in the family follows suit. I told him I thought that that was a little ballsy. Especially since I've joined this board and realized that some people have problems with grandparents treating Bio and skids different, and I now relaize how lucky he friggin is that not just my parents, but my brothers, cousins, aunts, uncles and grandparents have all embraced his children as part of our family.Honestly sometimes he is so pig headed and one sided.
Oh and by the way this is all because it's too much work for him to pack up the car with gifts. What an idiot!!
- Gabby77's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
I don't know your history....
Maybe I don't understand because I haven't read your blog to know the history. You say your H has a lot of nerve to expect your family to treat his kids the same as yours or your siblings' children, then at the end you say that he is lucky that your parents and extended family have all embrace his children as part of your extended family.
Please clarify the dilemma. Are you upset because your H is dictating holiday tradition?
My family and my DH's treat all of our kids like they're bio related and personally I wouldn't have settled for less from either side. As a matter of fact my SD's extended family have been very nice to my sons and myself. She has an aunt in town that sends the kids all treats for Halloween and Christmas. She's also babysat my two year old.
Peace, love, and red wine
You're right..
The family's should treat all kids the same. What irritates me is that my DH is using his kids to change my entire family's tradition. He is pulling the whole then don't buy for them crap. This is BS no one would buy for some of the kids but not for his girls. He is forcing my family and me to change how we love to do things because he feels akward opening in front of people and doesn't want to pack the car. he is manipulating the situation because he knows no one would do for one and not the other and then he is a hypocrite and says they are not really your or your familys so you don't decide how things are done. Do you see?
I think I see
He doesn't want to participate in the group opening together, so he doesn't want the group to do it?
I say Bah Humbug Ebneezer! I would tell him to stay at home with his girls if he doesn't want to participate in your family's Christmas tradition. We all love to watch all the kids open presents together. DH's family has always been scattered all over the country so holidays have been different every year. He has never told me I can't do whatever I wish with my family who all live in the same town as we do. We hosted Thanksgiving (the first time for me ever) the past two years- AND Christmas Eve the last 4. That's a lot of work but he's always simply rolled up his sleeves to help.
Peace, love, and red wine
PS
As a matter of fact DH's mom and dad live 6 hours away, in a town none of their kids grew up in/live in, and none of their extended family live anywhere near. My MIL is dying to live closer either to us or both their families who are all near each other in another state, but FIL will not budge. So every year MIL is so sad on Christmas and wants us to drive down there six hours to spend it with them. She'll ask DH, "What are your plans THIS Christmas?" And every year DH says, "To wake up in our house, open presents and relax. Care to join us?" The only year they tried, there was a terrible ice storm and they had to turn back. Now they're afraid to come. But DH and I have four kids with other parents in town. There's no way we're traveling away without them for Christmas. I'm so proud of him that he doesn't give in to the pressure from his mom. I feel bad for her but there are two of them and SIX of us (including one 2 year old). Now who should have an easier time pulling off a six hour drive Christmas Eve?
Peace, love, and red wine
Tough situation
you are encountering. When momma's not happy...no one is happy. Your husband needs to listen to what YOU want & not be so demanding. The holidays are the most stressful of times. COMPROMISE on both ends. All or nothing is usually not the answer. There are many ways for you to both get a little of what you want.