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Leave her...she is the source of our unhappiness

Haelsunderfire's picture

Before my husbands daughgter did what she did to us, they were already difficult step children. I believed in being strict and enforcing the same rules I will instill in my children to my husbandfs three childrent. They didn't like it. My rules were not anything crazy. They were, help with one chore a day, wash your dish after you each, and no laundry after 7PM (laundry close to our room and loud). Apparantly this was way too much to ask of them.

Looking back on my failed marriage and my life with my husband and his three kids, things were always horrible and hard. And i was always the bad one. 

I feel blessed that I have finally made the decision, and I am sticking to my guns to separate. To anyone out there thinking this has no end, it does. It lies within us and we all know when we've reached our limit. I am done giving and giving and giving, and not getting smack shit back in return. 

Now, I will be the bad one of the story. That drove me nuts before because I've always been loving and kind and generous. Today, I don't care. It is not my place to correct others feelings..

that is my empowerment today, maybe tomorrow i will be down, but today I help my post helps those in my situation feel that there is salvation and sanity. I want to regain my sanity.

 

So i guess afer years of his kids beeing him to leave me, they finally get what they want. 

Comments

Rumplestiltskin's picture

I can tell from your blogs that you tried. There are just some situations that are too dysfunctional, too far gone. Your husband's life was a wreck long before you came into it. People can't change unless they want to, and i think sometimes, these situations are so messed up that nothing will make it bearable. Good luck in your much more peaceful future. I know you have learned some hard lessons that will help you going forward. 

Haelsunderfire's picture

You are absolutely right. His life was a wreck in every way and you are also right that when a person refuses to change, they simply won't and then it's too late. The other person gets tired and wants peace. We try to encourage growth in the people we love for a better future, but when a mind is closed, it's closed. 

Wicked stepmo.'s picture

You and your kids will beuch better off. I had a talk with SO tonight about his learned helplessness when it comes to his kids. The what am I supposed to do attitude. They don't listen. 

They don't understand or want to understand that being a parent means that sometimes your kids will not like you and that's ok. Sometimes you have to be the bad guy and take things away, say no, set limits. 

Shazloo1234's picture

...to you and your new life of peace and hopefulness.

It is so unfortunate we we get caught up in these dramas and think we are doing the right thing.

Sometimes we can never reap the benefits because our partners are not truly on our side. 
You have tried, and given everything and now it's time for you.

I wish you all the luck, love and happiness in your life especially respect and moowerment.

God bless you.❤️

Johnm0819's picture

I've recently made the same decision to leave a toxic situation. Proud of you. Look out for number 1. Lots of love sent your way.

CLove's picture

I hope you stick around to both share your wisdome with others that have gone through or are currently going through the same things. Also to keep us posted with your wonderful life going forward!

I am so glad that you are seeking a better life without all this garbage.

Haelsunderfire's picture

Thank you, right now it's dealing with all the heartbreak. The emotional turmoil of letting go of my unsupportive husband, but also letting go of the person I love. Its relief and heartbreak all it once. Step Talk is helping though. I will be posting past stories of my troubles with his kids so you can all gain some persfective of my story.