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happy_2bmarried's picture

Submitted by happy_2bmarried on Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:16am

I was going over what was spent last year on the skids not including childsupport. I have three skids and paid school fees for one and 1/2 for another. I also by winter boots every year for all three and winter coats and fall coats and snow pants for all three to wear at each house. BM and us switch every year on who buys school shoes vs who buys school supplies and back packs. Here's my question...our court order only says to split medical costs it doesn't say anything else about school or other things so since she receives childsupport for the children and has placement during the the school week would it be wrong to assume she should use the childsupport to pay for the kids school fees and for us to say were not paying? I looked at what were shelling out vs is what she's paying for them and we pay a lot! I would like to know what others do.

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cat72196's picture

Submitted by cat72196 on Fri, 08/05/2011 - 11:22am

Hmmm, I know where I live in NY, medical costs AND childcare costs are supposed to be split 50/50, SEPARATE from Child Support. I would assume that school fees would be the same thing, but I'm not sure, since my kids are in public school. To be on the safe side, I would DEFINITELY talk to your attorney & get the CS order modified to include school expenses. If she has primary custody, then yes, I would say the CS is supposed to go towards new school clothes & supplies, and you've been very generous purchasing boots/coats, etc. Good luck!

smileygirl's picture

Submitted by smileygirl on Fri, 08/05/2011 - 12:23pm

In my State, nothing is a split unless it's in the court order. But do be careful if BM is a nut - We were never ordered to pay or split school cost. DH was one of those do whatever you have to to keep the ex happy kind of guys though...so we paid school tuition, uniforms, books, lab fees, etc...without question until times got tuffer and I pointed out that we couldn't afford to keep paying 100% of all this for his little D students (it was more than $400,00 in 6 yrs time)....upon telling BM that she needs to step up and pay her portion for their education at that amzing school she said they just couldn't do without- they were immediatly yanked out put into public school. Suddenly that very exclusive school that was an absolute necessity wasn't as important.

Just something to keep in mind. Either our BM was taking advantage of us, because DH let her and she knew it was a burden to us or she is willing to let her children suffer so that she can continue to use all CS funds on herself. I think it's a bit of both.

I personally always thought it was a waste of money but if you think the private school is necessary in your area, you might find yourself forced to make a choice.

happy_2bmarried's picture

Submitted by happy_2bmarried on Fri, 08/05/2011 - 2:05pm

before I married my husband we were paying no child support directly to her. My husband paid all medical bills he paid for all clothing all school fee's and anything else they needed at both homes. She turned into a real nasty when I came into my husbands life, I have a high paying job that I worked my butt off to get and could afford to treat us out to things. I also spent my money wise and had nice things. She started to demand child support and they agreed out of court how much he would give her and that they would take turns buying what. Now we went to court and have an offical order of when we get the kids and how much to pay. So I was talking to my husband and telling him that child support is to cover school fee's and clothes. that we don't really need to bother pitching in all the time.