What the heck!
Well, it has been 3 years since we have tried to blend this family and SS10 has no intention of ever being respectful or helpful. It is not like I ask anything of this child. Maybe very basic things like, wash your hands after the restroom, which I do not understand why in the world you wouldn't want to wash your hands!! It is just ridiculous that I have to tell him to wash his hands everytime he comes out of the restroom. Any time he comes out his hands dont even show the slightest sign that they were wet, or smell like soap, and no matter how much the evidence points to the fact that he did not wash his hands he argues to the death that he did. I mean the soap is not wet in addition to other things and he comes up with some ridiculous reason like the one today " i only put my thumb on it and i did it when it was dry" HELLO CHILD! that means you did not wash your hands with soap. you may have gotten a finger wet but if you touch the soap with a thumb, does not count. Not to mention of course he leaves all the lights on in whatever room he was in. So going behind him and turning off the lights today i ask if he could please remember to turn the lights out next time. And that giant headache says "No, i won't remember". to which his BF says just say yes ma'am i will try to remember, which SS10 does repeat but in the most sarcastic voice ever to show that he is just humoring his father, and that was it for me. i told him it was very rude to use that tone of voice not only towards his father but me as well. and that i don't ask much from him and something as simple as turning off the lights is not a big deal. and if he can't show me or his dad any respect that he will not be welcome in my home anymore. it just is becoming too much for me. im ready to throw in the towel.
- hardatwork's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
oh believe you me i stand up
oh believe you me i stand up for myself. i just dont feel i am the one to give this kid the spanking he has had coming for a long time. if this is the kind of child DH wants then i told him to start getting ready to move out because this kid is no longer going to be welcome in my home. but, i defintely agree that tone/sarcasm is absolutely the number one thing that i cannot let go. i told him the next time he was getting slapped.
I know you said that you are
I know you said that you are uncomfortable with spanking him but you could try something like taking away all the things he likes the most and making him earn them back over time? That has been something that has worked really well for me when it comes to both my BKids and my Skid.
I do, however DH always gives
I do, however DH always gives them back the next time we see him without asking me. or if i say hey, he is still in trouble he sticks up for him and is all, well what can he do to earn it back, i dont see why it has to be so long. he's just a little kid. And we only see him everytother weekend, so technically its been 2 weeks but not really considering that it is really only 4 days, you know? i told him he needs to cut it out and let the kid be punished for a while. and BM finally says yesterday "i dont know why he is like that. i guess im should stop spoiling him and buying him all these nice things if he doesnt appreaciate it and talk back to everyone all the time" its like, really lady you think?! not to mention stop paying him for report cards, stop taking him somehwere every day off, if his bad behavior doesnt have any ill effects on anything he does why the hell would he give a hoot?!! that lady is clueless, and DH needs to stop feeling guilty and start parenting.
2yrs and counting here...dont
2yrs and counting here...dont look for any changes coming anytime soon...his kids are here 24/7 with no BM in the picture and hasnt been for 2 yrs but he just can't get a handle on parenting his own damn kids but is the first to speak up and say what others are doing wrong with their kids...I don't see it changing...it will for a day or a week but it always comes back around again...unless to even say how I feel anymore...its doesnt matter..when it came to the disrespect part he says I am an adult I need to speak to his child...I have doesnt work...I feel he is her parent...he needs to say in front of me that it will not be tolerated period...but he will not....
exactly, he needs to be the
exactly, he needs to be the one to say, you will not act that way or talk that way to people, to him!! he says that he doesnt want to interfere in our(my and ss10) relationship. ummm, buddy if you dont start doing your job and teaching your child simple life skills there will be no relationship because i am not going to want anything to do with him!
Exactly! I am an adult! I
Exactly! I am an adult! I didn't speak to my parents as she does me and she isn't gonna talk to me that way anymore...no more eye rolling, and all the stupid crap she has been doing. I have had more then enough in 2 yrs and I refuse to do it anymore...
I know this child knows rules I know she can follow directions....example...she kept taking a shower and leaving her clothes in the bathroom...the other 2 kids could pick their clothes up and put them in the dirty basket so I know she can to...so consequence of not following directions...you clean the bathroom everytime you leave your clothes in there...needless to say she cleaned it 4 or 5 times and never has she left her clothes in there again...she knows....because I kept enforcing it....now she tries other things but im tired of trying here I am tried of the same crap...when is he gonna man up and be a parent!
and why should we be the ones
and why should we be the ones who have to raise their children. i always tell DH, i didnt have a child wiht BM you did, and now you need to deal with it. they are just testing to see what they can get away with, and with me its not alot. but they know who they can do whatever they want with and it doesnt help us any that DH is there sticking up for them. i told DH that one too, that if he were SS10 and he talked to his parents that way what would happen? because i know when i was that age if i did that i would be slapped.
"What is this feeling
That’s put you in your place?
A hot red burning on the side
Of your face.
You feel the blood rush to your cheek,
Tears start to fill your eyes.
Your lips are trembling but you can’t speak
You’re trying, oh you’re trying not to cry.
Ya just got slapped
Across the face my friend.
Ya just got slapped
Yes that really just happened.
Well, everybody saw it, hah
Everybody laughed and clapped.
‘Cause it was awesome.
The way that you just got slapped."
-marshall eriksen
I have the same issues with
I have the same issues with my SD11. She leaves the lights, ceiling fans, tv, etc. on all the time! I just tell her "hey SD - lights!" and she knows that SHE has to get up from wherever she's at and go and turn off the light. Dont do it for them! She's famous for not washing her hands, not using toilet paper or flushing the damn toilet and every time I see the mess, it's no tv for 24 hours. It got so bad, that we eventually just took the tv out of her room. and lo and behold - she survived it! and her grades even went up! Hey it's my house too and if daddy is not going to do anything about it, then I'll step up and be the evil stepmom. For the most part she respects me and knows she cant get away with anything with me. As for her dad, that's another story!
i took away his tv and
i took away his tv and xbox/gamecube that were in his bedroom all ready. not like it matters as DH lets him play xbox in the living room practically all day. not when im around though. i dont think that is the way it works.
I really just want to know
I really just want to know what goes through his mind when he is yelling at me for telling him something "else" that his child has done! What kind of benefit is he getting off of it? There is no BM to worry about she died! So what the hell is the problem? Its always the same thing...its always something with me he said...well big boy step the hell up and do what parents are suppose to do with their kids.....and there wouldnt always be something it wouldnt always be the same thing
Yet open your mouth put your foot in it because in 2 or 3 yrs I am gonna look at you and laugh and say I TOLD YOU SO...told you so when you let her by with every thing...when it was ok she stole gum from her brother heck it was only gum....when she steals at Walmart will it be only gum then too? When she lies one of her big lies at school and that lie is on you...will it be okay then too...when she is pregnant at 13 or 14...guess then you will stop and think if I would have done this or would have done that...if she goes to jail for drugs or anything else...guess you wish you had been more of a parent then or will you just bail her out!
I could go on and on!
they need direction and if
they need direction and if you had taken the time before then we wouldnt be having this problem now, and the fact that there is a problem just means you need to deal with it, and not continue to try and explain away the trouble they are asking for. and it will only get worse, as long as you look the other way. SS10 is headed down a hard road, in the real world people dont respond kindly to cocky little brats.
AMEN! Step back look at other
AMEN! Step back look at other kids in detention homes...look at their brother from another marriage(there mom was married before their dad)he just turned 18 on August 21st of this year and he now has 2 felony drug charges on him...why because mom and dad decided to be his friend instead of his parent! The real world doesn't like theives or user...you better get a grip dad cause the real world gonna slap you and her in the face one day!