I can't tell
If this is better or worst than it was I did sit my husband down and talk to him about co parenting after having to write down what I needed to say because I have issues just talking I always have and probably always will. The hubby is on board with it so I tell the princess to do something if it doesn't happen she gets grounded to her room. Well wensday o believe I had told her to pick up and put up the pumpkin craving toolsand ahe didn't do it so today I reminded her not once but twice to pick them up and she still didn't do it now I had also told both princess and the boy to go to bed. The girl was going to wait to go to bed until after her blankets were down in the dryer now our dryer sucks and you have to dry the same load at least twice if its a heavy load ( such as blankets and blue jeans) she has a heavy comforter so I didn't think much of it the point of the matter is she just decided that she was going to stay up and wait for the dryer after I had told her to go to bed. If she asked me about it first it would be different and even then I just checked her blankets after the dryer when off andntheubare still wet. So she's having a fit because she has no other blankets to use which is a lie because she has her comforter to use and she still didn't pick up the pumpkin craving tools. So I told her she was grounded to her room on Saturday and Sunday we argued back in forth and she of course tries to cry herself out of it to daddy and he turns and looks at her and says "well did you ask if you could stay up until your blankets were dry" she says no but that I should have been paying attention when she told her brother that is what she was going to do then he asks about the pumpkin craving tools "did she tell you to pick them up" yes but I was going to take them up to my room when I went to bed "did you tell her that" no I didn't think I had to " how many times did she tell you to take them upstairs?" Twice "so don't you think you should have asked or told her you were going to wait until going to bed?" Yeah. " Well there you go I'm not in it so stop trying to drag me into it whatever punishment she thinks up is fair. Princess then got pissed off and said she didn't under why she was being punished. Like really kid. You know why your just pissed off that daddy isn't dealing with your manipulation anymore. However I'm not sure that this is any better. He was on my side with it but he said he wasn't in it. But I suppose stepping Stones right? At least he is o my side now?
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I understand
I understand where you are coming from. She clearly is trying to get some attention. Also, I hate when the dads say they aren't in it. You are in it because your that dad. They should back us up on disciplining the kids more. But you know most dads have a weak spot for their girls. It's like battling the girl for your husbands attention. It gets old! He said whatever punishment is fair okay, "so she needs a spanking then?" And he should be the one to do it. She needs to learn some respect, she was trying to get at you on purpose.
Agreed
She has always been like this but it got worst a year ago when she and her brother found out we were actually getting married and having a baby she sent here's to the mental hospital because she took 76 pain meds the week before our wedding. But at least he is somewhat letting me disapline hey and not saying you need to stop so that's something I suppose? I honestly don't know if this is better or worst.
Stepping stones
It's definitely a step up. That means he cares enough about you to try. But continue to express how you feel in a loving manner. But not all the time so your not titled the "nag." See if you can get more help from him over time. But if it gets too crazy, let him know that you can't handle any extra stress! Especially with a little kid! And her trying to kill herself with a little baby around is not healthy.
According to her
She isn't trying anymore because her baby sister needs her but her little brother who has been innher life since he was born doesn't and it's funny she stops her bs when she find out we are having a girl but was all about it when people kept asking me what I wanted and I kept saying a boy
She sounds like a normal self
She sounds like a normal self absorbed teen. My only suggestion is to cut out the back and forth. The rest of the house doesn't need to live in a battlefield because the girl can't take her consequences. Tell her to do something one time--maybe twice if you're feeling forgiving and then say "okay you're punished. This is what it is" then just walk away or move on. If she tries to play 50 Questions then tell her "you know why".
I think
That the best advice I have ever read.
Disengage and remove yourself
Disengage and remove yourself from the interactions of discussion with skids. I have been through this, still in it, and consistently adjust my disengagement.
Examples: pumpkin tools not cleaned after 2nd request? Trash them, donate them or remove them from general use. No pumpkin carving next year as you don't know where they are. Laundry issues? Not your problem at all. Stay out of it, she knows the issue, dad knows the issue and it's not yours to solve.
As for this one
The tools were thrown away I don't do their laundry since they wanted to play well our step mom didn't wash our laundry when I did in fact wash their laundry they just didn't want to wear their uniforms. I'm not saying I was trying to solve it it was more of a well I think this is better than it was because instead of being told that I needed to stop trying to punish her I'm being told that whatever I see for will be fine.
Why are you the one
Why are you the one disciplining his kid? He needs to do it.
And BTW, she might have just been attention-seeking, but taking 76 pills is not a joke and could have killed her. Does she have a therapist? I hear it's tempting to just dismiss it as something she needs to get over, but if she's so troubled by your and DH's relationship that she'd try to kill herself, she needs some help.
Yes
She did see a therapist his solution was here take these pills and now she suddenly cured but she hasn't tried it since her third time in the mental hospital so maybe it did work?
I don't think it was our relationship what she kept saying is that I was treating and favoring her younger brother better than I was her which isn't true innthe slightest. What was actually going on is that she was getting in more trouble from not doing what she was told to do and doing things she wasn't supposed to. Ex: talking to her aunt when she isn't allowed to do that because she likes to lie to officials and say that we lock the kids in cages and in the basement or we are straving them so she can try to get custody (she has done that 5 times since the hubby and I got together because she would much rather sit and do nothing than try to find a job). Talking to her mother which she isn't supposed to be doing (court ordered unless dad is present) smoking which she stole the cigerettes from her aunt and her aunt and grandma let her have them ( they spent winter break with their grandma and we weren't aware that aunt was allowing her to do that at the time this should have been in with the talking to her aunt point) having Snapchat when she was told she couldn't have Snapchat because the first time she had Snapchat while at her grandmas for the winter her and her cousin were doing inappropriate things. This lost goes on and it's a bit out of order but it always starts after they are with their aunt or grandma and we had just found out from our son that when they spend the weekend or break thier Grandma's actually talked them to see their aunt which we have told them to many times not to do
Also
Because they don't listen to me so the hubby is trying to get them to figure out that what I say does infact go and they can't go and cry to him when I do something that they don't like. Which is what they have been doing for the past few years. I'm the one dealing with the kids 24/7 since he works almost 24/7 he goes to work when they are in school and he gets home from work when theybare in bed if he is lucky he might get 2-3 days off but most of the time they call him in and he goes because we have bills.