Virtual school drama
So, SS10 is with BM this week. DH is out of town for work and I'm staying with family (we're in the process of moving). Long story. Anyway, SS has done virtual school this year.
Today, DH and BM are told SS has not logged in to participate in class all week so they've locked him out of his account. He's been doing his assignments (mostly A and one B )but hasn't been there for class.
Lovely.
DH and BM are annoyed that the school didn't tell them until now. I get that, but I think the bigger issue is that SS wasn't doing what he's supposed to -- sneaky behavior (which is part of a pattern with him). It's SS and parents' responsibility to make sure SS is doing what he's supposed to.
I'm staying out of it but it does concern me if they don't bring down the hammer. SS is a sneaky kid. He lies. If he's told not to do something, he'll just do it secretly. If he has an accident, he just leaves it and doesn't tell anyone. (Like candy spilled all over the pantry floor.) DH always talks about how he wants SS to come to him about things, etc. And DH is big on honesty and lying. Yet SS behaves like this and nothing of any substance is done.
I think something like this warrants major consequences. Remains to be seen if any are implemented.
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I agree that this is a big no
I agree that this is a big no-no that deserves serious consequences. He may be an A/B student, but that's not going to last long if he doesn't participate in class. And it's not going to go over well for BM OR DH when a Truant Officer shows up asking about SS's whereabouts and the answer is "he lied to us".
Sounds like, going forward, SS will have to show Mommy and Daddy that he's logged into every class by having them pop on his Zoom classes so they can see the teacher and other students. Every. Single. Class. Perhaps the natural consequences for both SS (embarrassment) and his parents (time suck) will push them all to not slack on this particular issue (in addition to other consequences that SS should have doled out, like internet paused on all his devices except his school computer between 6AM and 6PM everyday, and paying a tutor to spend the next several weekends with SS teaching him what he should have learned in class - and maybe making SS use his own money to help pay for the tutor).
Absolutely.
Absolutely.
They might make him sit by them during class time, etc. Might. I doubt anything else will happen. But maybe they'll surprise me. They put a "no electronics during the school day unless you have A and B grades" in effect earlier when his grades slipped (rushing assignments to get to his video games). I think it ought to be enforced now regardless of grades. We'll see.
I looked back and SS is 10
I looked back and SS is 10 years old. There is ZERO reason that his parents should not have been working with him on his virtual school work. I think it is really beyond a lot of kid's maturity level to keep up with their classwork in the unstructured ONLINE school environment at that age.. shoot.. older kids and adults struggle with this.
I see this as his parent's failure to oversee this. They shouldn't have had to wait for the school to notify them.. they should have already known if the work wasn't being done. He is 10.. not a 17 year old preparing to head off to college.
Clearly his parents now understand he needs to be monitored.
I sympathize with them.. and SS.. I had to help monitor my YSD when she did some virtual classes as a SR in HS.. and that was painfully full of nagging.. I hated to have to do it.. there just wasn't another person who could do it at the time... and we did not want her to fail and not graduate.. that was a worse outcome (she did graduate.. doing very well in her career now).
I agree to some extent. For
I agree to some extent. For most of the year, he was doing his work downstairs in the kitchen, where we could easily hear that he was in class. The last couple of months DH let him do it in his room. He was doing his work (which DH stayed on top of) so I guess he figured it was all still going along fine.
There is that old saying
There is that old saying "trust but verify".. Staying on task is a struggle for a lot of people.. and at that age, I would not have high expectations he would stay on track and not get distracted unless his parents were monitoring the process pretty actively.
It sounds like your DH had a false sense of security and thought the school would be more proactive in notifying sooner..
This failure to complete his work will have a consequence for SS. His parents lost trust.. and loss of the freedom to complete his work in a less structured environment. Sounds like he needs a dedicated space that does not have access to his Vgame temptations.. and the rule has to be that he can prove his assignments are up to date before he is allowed on his games.. in addition to maintaining the AB level of performance.
Yes. That sounds like a good
Yes. That sounds like a good plan to me. It remains to be seen what they'll do. I've learned to keep my mouth shut unless asked.
Thankfully, he's going back to school in August. It will likely be a shock to his system, though.