finding some normalcy here. thank you.

well, i have been a member here for about an hour. and i can honestly say that so many of the complaints and questions and stories and advice i'm reading have made me feel SO MUCH MORE NORMAL!! So i'm not the only one going thru hell with Sdevil14 (thank you redwingfan)?! so here is the place that i can find thoughts and advice on some of the things I have been going through!! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! I dont feel like stabbing my eyes out as much anymore.....off to: have a smoke on the patio....lol.

having a smoke on the patio's blog
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LMAO - glad you are getting

LMAO - glad you are getting some comfort here. I know I do!

I've been here for a while now and I've learned a few things:

1. Don't expect everyone to be on your side. It's one of the things that's great because you get varying opinions and perspectives so don't take it all personally.

2. If someone posts something negative, hurtful or mean on your blog, just delete it! It's not worth getting into a huge pissing match with some of the posters here.

3. No question is a stupid question

4. Don't lie or exaggerate - we can sniff out these people eventually and yeah, it's not good.

5. Friends made here can become real life buddies (or email/FB buddies).

Welcome aboard and I hope you get what you need here!

Great advice, RW. Welcome

Great advice, RW. Welcome having a smoke!

I think this is great advice

I think this is great advice too

What Redwings said. Welcome

What Redwings said. Welcome to the group.

Red is our honorary welcoming

Red is our honorary welcoming committee. What she said.
Welcome Smokes. I kissed my screen when they told me, "No you're not crazy, you're a stepmom".

LMAO Shook! Did you appoint

LMAO Shook! Did you appoint me as the welcoming committee? LOL

I definitely feel for this new poster - since stepdevil14 is just as vile but I'm lucky to only have to see her maybe once a year now (if I'm luckier, NEVER again).

LOL Well thanks for the vote

LOL Well thanks for the vote of confidence guys! Better not pump my head all up or I'll forget that I'm really just a cold hearted bitch from Detroit

Oh no Red, you're not a

Oh no Red, you're not a cold-hearted bitch are ya? I thought I had the monopoly on that, at least that's what SD thinks. But, I reckon if we did a poll of our Skids, we'd all just be cold-hearted bitches, huh. Ah, I'm good with it, ‘Clydella cold-hearted bitch’ has a nice ring to it }:)

According to stepdevil14 I

According to stepdevil14 I am. I'm mean, nasty, like to beat her, call her fat so now she claims to be bulimic...

All of these things because...wait for it...I MAKE HER DAD HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well how dare you do such a

Well how dare you do such a thing, shame on you!! Don't you know their Dadddeee's life is supposed to be all about them, not him or his happiness.

I know right clydella? She

I know right clydella? She was just elated when he started dating me and thought she and I would be best buddies. She was so super sickly sweet in the beginning, I knew something was up. As soon as we got serious and she knew I wasn't going anywhere, that's when her claws came out and she dug them into daddy saying "He's MINE". DISGUSTING

I think our SD's must be long

I think our SD's must be long lost sisters. Same story here. My SD sent me an e-mail telling me how I how stole her Daddy away, she couldn't stand how happy he was now and it wasn't fair to her. My reply, Your Welcome.

Mine just withholds her

Mine just withholds her presence and affection from daddy, knowing that he'd kill to spend time with her. Sick isn't it? Very twisted.

Stepdevil's thought is "If daddy doesn't do everything I say and give me everything I want, well, I'll just ignore him and stay away and that'll teach him"...

UGH

Spiteful & vindictive, these

Spiteful & vindictive, these SD's, wonder if they'll ever grow up and realize the world don't work like that.

I don't think so clydella -

I don't think so clydella - until maybe THEY are in the same boat. I'm sorry but I hope stepdevil gets bit HARD by Karma

He demoted her, so why

He demoted her, so why shouldn't she demote him?

Wrong, maybe. But I can see why she would think that way. Even if she knows its wrong. Nobody ever accused teens of being logical humans.

I see that too Anon. You

I see that too Anon. You make perfect sense.

ETA: So what can he do about it?

Honestly, I think the best

Honestly, I think the best thing is to text her every now and then, let her know he loves her unconditionally every few weeks...what he's doing now.

I think that if he does that, she'll eventually want to work through their problems with him, key word being eventually. But I don't think it'll happen soon.

Thanks Anon. We feel the

Thanks Anon. We feel the same.

I don't know if she'll ever come around but he feels like she'll be a grown woman before she initiates contact with him and fully wants to work on building a relationship with him.

I don't care if she ever does, for my end of things - but for him, yes, I want him to have some sort of contact with her.

we never used to see sd14,

we never used to see sd14, she didnt want anything to do with us....she couldnt believe we sit down to eat dinner together every night, play UNO together, and read bedtime stories....so she avoided us for almost 3 years to run wild. I constantly "nagged" my fiance to call sd14, text her, get her to "come by for dinner or something".

now that she lives with us, i day dream about those old days...once a year visit sounds AWESOME!

Wait I feel guilty for thinking like that....wait, it went away.

I hear ya. Ours was the

I hear ya. Ours was the same. We tried family game nights, dinners out, movies, trips to the lake, etc. She would pout or cry or just mope. Having her around was like walking with a black cloud over your head. She was just UGH.

I will never wish her back!

A shining example of "Be

A shining example of "Be careful what you wish for".
I wished I found this site BEFORE I helped hubby get full time custody of Teen Drano.

Teen Drano - good one!

he's talking about doing

he's talking about doing that! i told him i would research it....i'm so NOT doing that. i have learned from my years of mistakes "to listen to your elders" and i dont mean old people, i mean people with expierience with this!!

i have found myself feeling

i have found myself feeling so guilty for not wanting her around. she's my fiance's kid for pete's sake, how can i not want her?

but. its true. i will cloth her (except for those hooker vagina shorts, wtf?) and feed her and get her to/from school, but i dont really want to do it, cause she is mean to me. hahaha, that sounds so funny to "say out loud."

Shit, the kid is 14, she can

Shit, the kid is 14, she can do all that herself. I'd disengage and not do a fucking thing for her until she starts treating you with respect. She doesn't have to love you or even like you but she should respect you above all.

yep, i know i have been told

yep, i know i have been told that. i knew she had it hard with her druggie BM, so when she came to us, i wanted her to know she can be a kid and that i care for her. then i found out she smokes pot, has sex, and sends porn of herself to multple chat partners around the country for the last 1.5 years. i realized she's no little girl. she has no respect for herself, so why would i ever expect her to have respect for me?

if her BM ever brings her back this week, all that I have been doing for her is going to stop.
Thanks so much Redwingfan, for taking time to read from me, write to me, and LET ME VENT! it feels so good.

Smoke - no need for thanks,

Smoke - no need for thanks, that's what I'm here for!!!

And yes, if she feels she's mature enough to have sex, smoke pot and the other shit, she can feed herself, clothe herself, get herself off to school and do her own chores.

DO NOT do anything for her until she starts respecting you otherwise she gets the message that treating you like shit is acceptable!

Why yes Red! Like the Cider

Why yes Red! Like the Cider House Rules lol.

(No subject)

Welcome, sorry for the SD

Welcome, sorry for the SD troubles, but as you can see you're not alone anymore. Oh those SD's they can be quite evil little devils. ST has helped me learn how to deal with my SD in better ways, and the way I feel about SD doesn't make me evil, hope it helps you along the path as well.

Welcome!!!!

well thank you all for the

well thank you all for the warm welcome, i have been feeling every emotion in the book since mid-feb and about ready to blow. but honestly i feel a bit more relief and knowledge and respect for myself and understanding, and EVERYTHING whirling thru me reading through the posts and blogs.....i havent done any work in about 2 hours....whooops! but this elation that "I AM NOT ALONE" is soooo good!