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can he get custody if I use to be a stripper?

hopeforchange's picture

Submitted by hopeforchange on Sat, 03/01/2014 - 7:06pm

Please don't judge me. I use to be on here because I was dating a guy with two kids that relationship did not last. I had my son young and I was in a bad environment. I thought stripping was the only way out and people who I thought where my family kept pushing and using me for money telling me it was the right thing to do. I'm getting on my feet now. We had to stay in a shelter and couch surf for a while but now we have our own place. I work two jobs as a cashier and a bartender to support me and my kid. Now his father who has never shown interest and who has only recently started paying child support is threating to take custody. He threatend to use my past against me to show I am unfit. I am very scared. He is not a good man and has skeletons falling out of his closet too but I can't prove nothing. I got my GED and I want to get a degree. I'm not a perfect mom but I'm trying so hard.

Comments

hopeforchange's picture

Submitted by hopeforchange on Sat, 03/01/2014 - 7:23pm

Oh yeah duh me. I can just look in a phone book and call them up and ask. Thanks.

hopeforchange's picture

Submitted by hopeforchange on Sat, 03/01/2014 - 7:34pm

Maine.

hopeforchange's picture

Submitted by hopeforchange on Sat, 03/01/2014 - 8:00pm

Aren't there factors other than gender that come into play. Like who the child is use to being around and what is good for the child. And how he hasn't spent more than an hour with his child in years. If it weren't for me having pictures my son wouldn't even know who he is.

hopeforchange's picture

Submitted by hopeforchange on Sat, 03/01/2014 - 8:43pm

He turns 5 next month. I have all of that. I got my GED and he is in preschool and we live in a two bedroom apartment in the good part of town away from evetything that brought me down in my past. I just really pray I can come up with a way to pay for a good lawyer.

bi's picture

Submitted by bi on Sat, 03/01/2014 - 8:52pm

stripping may not be looked at favorably, but you aren't doing it now, and even if you were, it's a legal occupation, it's not like you were a prostitute. there is a woman who has some of the same friends I do who has been in a lesbian relationship for probably 10 years now, and her exdh tried to use that against her to get their kids. the judge told him that her sexual preference had nothing to do with her parenting. she got the kids. I would think as long as being an ex stripper is the worst the ex can use against you, you don't have a whole lot to worry about.

Anon2009's picture

Submitted by Anon2009 on Sat, 03/01/2014 - 9:51pm

I'm sorry you got treated so horribly. I don't think it'll harm you in court, especially as it's now in the past. You're a good person and great mom!

Lalena75's picture

Submitted by Lalena75 on Sun, 03/02/2014 - 1:28am

Going to say NO. I have a friend she IS a stripper makes good money her 2 kids sleep at her moms while she works, she picks them up gets the ready for school gets them on the bus, crashes for a few hours, gets up runs errands gets the kids off the bus does homework, dinner etc showers and jammies, takes them to her moms ( a block away) tucks them in goes to work. She's off every sun, and 2 weeknights to spend with her kids, she's spent 3 1/2 years getting her associates degree, we'll graduate at the same time. Her ex works for a well known corporation he has money NEVER had anything to do with the kids suddenly he wants full custody, her employer helped her get a lawyer the judge reamed the dad for abandoning his kids and only now wanting to be part of their life when CS caught up to him. she suggested a slow integration 1 evening a week in a neutral place, working toward eowe, ex pulled the stripper card and the judge said "How many women do you think went to law school while spinning on a pole, or save lives in the ER, or run and own their own companies because they worked a good paying job? She keeps work and family seperate and has raised your children without you, you now want them why?" he stumbled over his answers and he now sees the kids eowe, it was a rough start but stripping doesn't mean your not a good mother.

Vanessa68's picture

Submitted by Vanessa68 on Sat, 07/04/2015 - 12:01pm

i believe in order for you to be a stripper you have to have a licence and a clean criminal record. I think as long as you look presentable in public and not like you just fell off the pole, it should be fine. People will judge anyway, I know, but sometimes they dont need to much ammunition.

Good for you and school, Go for it, its never to late Smile