You are here

Help! We need advice fast!

Hopeful Stepmom KC's picture

We can press charges but since no one but me saw who started it and my husband fought back to defend himself the charges would probably be thrown out or pleaded down to a misdemeanor. My husband can file a protective order and blanket it over the kids which would mean that the boyfriend would have to move out. That's what we would really like to do because we don't want him around the kids but if we do that then the little bit of civil ground we've gained with BM will be gone forever. So we don't know what to do.

Situation:
It was the Saturday of our Christmas break visitation with my stepkids. We were dropping the kids off for the day because their BM wanted them to go to a family reunion and we didn't want to deprive them of seeing her side of the family just because it was our day. BM was already at the reunion because we were 12 minutes late (it's a 2 1/2 hour drive between residences) so her boyfriend was meeting us. He was ticked off when we got there. We got out to help the kids out and I said hi. He didn't say anything so we gave the kids bye bye lovins and told them we'd see them that night. He said we'll see about that or something like that, he was mumbling, and got in the car. My husband tapped on the passenger side window to ask what he said. Boyfriend barreled out of the driver's side and came around to the passenger side and got up in my husband's face. When my husband didn't cower away boyfriend rammed him into our car breaking our driver's side mirror. My husband put his hands on boyfriend's chest to keep him at a distance and boyfriend kept trying to throw my husband to the ground. 2 bystanders broke it up. My husband told the kids to get out of the car because he didn't want them with boyfriend when he was acting like he was. I went around to get my SD out and boyfriend flipped out again and started yelling that we weren't going to take the kids. Then he comes barreling at me and shoves me backward away from the car so hard I almost fell on my butt. He also almost slammed SD's hand in the car door. He slammed it so hard it would've crushed her hand. My husband came around to protect me and boyfriend grabbed his neck and started choking him. I went to block the kids' view so I didn't see anything else but the bystanders restrained boyfriend again and we got the kids in the car and locked the doors. Boyfriend broke loose from the bystanders and started punching and kicking our car so we left and my husband called the sheriff. When we were sure the sheriff was there we went back to sort everything out.

Comments

Smellissa's picture

What was the BMs reaction when she heard all of this? Did you or your husband talk to her? How long has she been with her BF?

Do you think that the SKs are really in danger being around him? Has he made threats or threatening moves before? Does he have ANYTHING to do with disciplining the SKs?

I'd press charges, and get a restraining order. I'd probably also talk to BM and let her know that you're doing it, not to be a hard ass, but to make sure the kids were safe.

Hopeful Stepmom KC's picture

BM made excuses for BF and said he was raised to use violence as the answer over talking. My husband has that conversation recorded. She said he would never hurt the kids but both kids have told us that he is rough with them when he's mad or tired. He's threatened my husband twice prior to this incident. We went to court in 2012 to increase visitation time and played the recording of the BF threatening my husband and the guardian ad litem discounted it in his report and said he didn't think BF was a problem and to just not talk to him. He controls what BM does and says. He's very jealous and overbearing but she doesn't see him that way. BF is living with BM and the kids now. They've been together for about 2 years and he moved in a few months ago. We don't want the BM to turn evil again like she did when we went to court but BF just keeps getting worse.