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My shame

hot1invegas's picture

Submitted by hot1invegas on Sun, 11/14/2010 - 9:52pm

I must say TY. It is nice to read from so many voices of reason.I am starting to feel like I am not so abnormal. I have so much guilt weighing me down because I can't stand my ss8. He is just a child why is it so hard. My ss8 can't stand me. I have never had a child dislike me so much. It is so sad. For three years now I have tried so hard to have some type of relationship with him. I honestly think that he believes it would be disloyal to his mother for him to even be friends with me. He is his BMs only child and he is so spoiled. He is overweight, out of shape and so friggen whinny. He doesn't even know how to wipe his own butt when done in the bathroom!!! He acts like "a girl" and both his BP treat him like one. Unfortunately my husband thinks his son is perfect and doesn't support my request for reasonable behavior modification. I GO CRAZY when I know he is going to be here. I can't stand to be home when he comes for the weekend. And forget school breaks.I am giving up and I feel so ashamed of how I feel about him.

Comments

Anon2009's picture

Submitted by Anon2009 on Sun, 11/14/2010 - 9:59pm

His mother is probably saying a lot of alienating stuff about you and DH to him. It's called parental alienation syndrome, and it's discussed quite frequently here.

I don't know that there's much you and DH can do about his weight, as he's not with you full-time, but DH and BM both need to step up and teach this kid life skills. Unfortunately, you can't make them do that.

Sometimes, disengaging is the only thing you can do to save your sanity.

beezgirl's picture

Submitted by beezgirl on Sun, 11/14/2010 - 10:06pm

I feel for ya. I do feel lucky (so far) my SD has been a pretty good kid. But I hear alot of horror stories on this site about whiney little brats with bad hygiene and attitudes. The only thing that could be helpful is to remind yourself that thank god he is not your flesh and blood. Whenever a problem arises "oh well he's not my kid" ;)DH definatly should step up and help out with the situations to make it a little easier on you, because it really isnt your issue but making your house uncomfortable is definatly unacceptable. Hang in there girl only 10 more years to go!!

on the fence's picture

Submitted by on the fence on Mon, 11/15/2010 - 11:05am

Do not feel ashamed! Read the postings here and you'll learn alot. You are not alone and just getting past the feeling of guilt and shame for how you feel is great start to understanding the REAL problems and maybe, if you're lucky and have a good DH, you will find positive ways to cope that help all three of you.

Well, one can hope and try, right? Just realize that what you're feeling is normal. Sad, but all to familiar.