Met another SM at work and we bonded immediately over being Steps.
So I work for a small firm. There are only a handful of us in our office and we hired a new assistant today. After her interview, she was introduced last week and they mentioned that she had just got married as well (I'm getting married in 6 months) and she, too, had a blended family.
She started today and I've helped her go through some items and checked on her a couple times and she's very sweet. AT lunch, I couldn't take it any more...
I went over and said 'So you're a new Stepmom, huh?'
And she said 'Um. Yeah...'
And I said 'How's that working out for you? I'm going to be soon and I feel like it's much harder than I ever imagined.'
And we both started talking a mile a minute about crazy BMs, and manipulative Skids, and wedding stuff, but mostly about being Stepmoms. When I went to leave she said 'If you EVER want to talk or vent about baby mama drama, I'm your girl' and I yelled over my shoulder 'Right back 'atcha!'
- HungryEyes's blog
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Hahaha I tell everyone I meet
Hahaha I tell everyone I meet about Steptalk!
It hasn't been an easy
It hasn't been an easy decision but my future husband is not the problem. He has done everything right and the one time he did something wrong, he fixed it and never did it again. We have put our relationship first. We are open and honest in our communication. We are partners. My issues are not with him. I'm on a journey to find out why I'm struggling with this step in my life and there are many layers to that. But I trust him 100%. My issues come from a crazy BM. And some of them are struggles that I am feeling but not any because of DH. He has done this thing right.
One of the people I work with
One of the people I work with here is a long-term stepmom who has basically accepted her role in life as "the ghost who orders pizza" as Mairin puts it. She has no children of her own but she accepted wholeheartedly the cold shoulder she was given and just internalizes it and muses it away. Her husband (biodad) hasn't supported her in the least and just let his (now grown with children) brats ignore her.
Meanwhile she continues to work to support him and have him on her very good health insurance. YUCK no WAY! I told her about steptalk, and the book Stepmonster but she is pretty sure that she is doomed to a life of non-existence. The now grown skids still don't invite her to any family gatherings but expect prezzies galore for them and the step grandkids. She makes a VERY good salary and they KNOW that!!
I think in this day and age, the blended family scenario (more like salad bowl as opposed to melting pot) is a misnomer at best.
Good point. I had something
Good point. I had something similar happen to me at the last horrid job I worked at. There was a colleague who had several years of being a SM under her belt. Oh yes she would commiserate with me but the moment she was talking to one of the starry eyed young women who were going to be married and possibly the BM, she would go into BM mode against me. This woman was a BM as well to three of her own and SM to one. I really think that the "number ratio" makes a difference as well.
Well the next thing you know, one of the starry eyed young women (who was uglier than sin) and whose sole goal in life was to be a BM like the rest of her clique, tried to "befriend" me to hack the steptalk site. She would make snide comments to me about being a "child hater" etc. :barf: