WTH is going on? SD lunch rant

As I said in my blog yesterday, SD convinced DH to take her lunch yesterday instead of eating the perfectly fine, less than 1 day old pizza leftovers. Last night we didn't cook either but we have lunch things for SD to take. On the way home, she asks what she's doing for lunch tomorrow and I tell her we have mac n cheese and yogurt. She whines and mumbles about it but no one told me to stop by the store or anywhere to get her "lunch" for today.

This morning as they're leaving, SD asks DH what she's doing for lunch today. Annoyed, I tell them that there is mac n cheese and yogurt. Of course, I'm ignored and DH says "I guess I'll take you lunch". But last night it was "I can't be taking you lunch everyday, it looks bad on me". Sure, DH.

So instead of being a parent and telling her to take what we have or eat the damn school lunch, he gives in and is taking some junk to her again today. Why am I so damn annoyed?? They both should've spoke up last night when the subject was brought up and no one did so now DH is running an extra errand and spending extra money.

Edit: apparently he got her a lunchable on the way and why can't he just feed his kid? I told him he will not raise our child that way and our kid can eat a damn school lunch once in awhile- or every damn day like I did! SD has no food allergies, she's just unnecessarily picky and spoiled.

Also, IAW mentioned being a lawnmower parent yesterday. It is so true! I even told DH that SD was given options last night and chose to not make a decision until she needed daddeeeee to fix it for her. That is why she is so stunted for 13- no consequences ever!

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You are annoyed because your

You are annoyed because your DH is creating a spoiled brat and it's only going to get worse from here.

Yep. This is going to be a

Yep. This is going to be a regular expectation if it is not nipped.

Even "cheap" fast food lunch daily gets expensive, not to mention the gas and extra wear and tear on the vehicle.

Apparently he got her a

Apparently he got her a lunchable but why couldn't she eat what we have here? I eat it every day. Oh, and DH wants to know what the BFD is because he's feeding his child and she can't go shopping by herself! How about hold her accountable for making the decision last night to not speak up and having to go to the store on the way to school. Screw this.

SD is special. A VIP. I bet

SD is special. A VIP. I bet she lords her VIP status to her friends at the lunch table.

Oh, I'm sure she does! I told

Oh, I'm sure she does! I told DH our kid will not ever b!tch about school lunch or having the privilege to take mac n cheese and yogurt when other kids have no choice.

Ok, so this is new. You didn

Ok, so this is new. You didn't seem to have this lunch issue last school session. So what's different?

Has the school changed quality of meals? Different friends SD is eating lunch with this year? Different foods from home that's available to take? Or maybe a new game to be sure Daddy doesn't 'forget' her while she watches your tummy grow an baby preparations under way?

She's playing a new game. Yep, Dad is being stupid and so far being manipulated by this 'Daddy, do you want me to starve' act. Even getting angry at you if you dare mention how ridiculous this new food sh*t is. After-all, his baby is just hungry and he's just feeding her. What's your problem? *choke, choke, barf*

This brat is been raised on restaurant and junk food. This is the girl who would have Daddy order her pizzas on weekends and have you run get and take it to her while she and a friend hung out at friend's house. But she wasn't there near as often as she is now. Today will be the third time in two weeks she's either gotten Dad or almost gotten Dad to make a special trip and spend money to indulge her new game.

My suggestion is to make a list (have skid help, and rule is she takes and eats from what is on list for school lunch) , hand Dad the list and his kid and send them to the grocer tonight. SD also needs to start packing her lunch the evening before so it's ready to grab and go in the mornings.

If Dad doesn't like this idea, then try this one out on him. Every time he spends cash running SD lunch, take an equal amount out of the account and put it in 2bbaby's piggy bank. You get enough , you can go buy something you'll need for baby or leave it in there and eventually open your baby a savings account.

What bothers me is the issue

What bothers me is the issue was not resolved last night when it was brought up. This was about 7pm with plenty of time to make a reasonable decision. We were in the car and passed not one but TWO grocery stores and SD didn't speak up when she was told it was mac n cheese and yogurt if she didn't object. Of course DH didn't find a solution either.

Maybe this is an issue because of her new sister but I made it clear to DH this morning that our kid will not be given special treatment and she won't have half the things SD does including: two of everything for each household, double gifts and special activities, pity from both parents that she can't grow up in an "intact" household, blah blah blah, poor COD mentality shite. I am a COD from age 5 and I never got special treatment like that. I never complained about school lunches and learned that lack of planning on my part didn't constitute an emergency on someone else's early on. My parents are no BS type of people.

I just can't help but feel like our child will be more "parented" which I guess is fine but for 5+ years, our daughter will see how her older sister gets to bounce between mommy and daddy's homes getting what she wants WHEN she wants it. I am trying to explain this to my partner.

OMG. I want to smack your DH!

OMG. I want to smack your DH! Him bringing her lunch AGAIN is ridiculous. But just as bad, is the fact that you told her what to bring (you shouldn't have to do this- SS12 and SD9...I repeat, SD9, pack their own lunches every day and never have to ask "what they are bringing" for lunch. This girl is 13- tell her to figure it out), and then she goes to Daddy and asks again because she didn't like your answer. When you told your DH it was Mac and cheese and yogurt, he should have said, "there you go SD, ILD already told you what was for lunch". He is just letting her manipulate him, and you look like a schmuck because she didn't have to listen to you!

I would honestly tell him, look, she is now playing this game of not liking what I tell her is for lunch, so she runs to you because she knows you will bring something else, and she is getting away with not listening to me, which is disrespectful. Your daughter needs to listen to me, as I am a SM in this house and buy the groceries. If you don't want to eat what I buy, I can just stop shopping altogether. But don't just disregard what I say to her.

What a spoiled brat.

I was angry, believe me! And

I was angry, believe me! And I can't even blame SD for being a spoiled brat because she isn't taught differently. This situation could/ should have been rectified last night but she and DH are so damn lazy of course nothing was solved. Then I look like an ass this morning.

My biggest thing is our mutual child. She will already see that SD is treated differently just being a COD and things like this just piss me off. If my kid can't take what's at home for lunch, she's eating cafeteria food, no alternatives given!

Don't feel like an ass! He's

Don't feel like an ass! He's the ass for letting a child interrupt his adult life because he's spoiling her.

Put more on your husband's plate. He has too much free time. The more he has to do, the more inconvenient SD's demands will be to him. (Seriously, how does he have so much time to be driving around catering to his kid in the middle of a workday???)

Now, it could go the other way -- he might blame you for loading him up on household chores. But you can always say, "You have time to deliver food on demand to SD at school, so you surely have time to clean the pool, do the laundry and take out the trash."

I don't think the last-minute planning is the issue. That's how some people roll. But that he will not let SD endure the consequences of her last-minute planning...now that is an issue. Imagine when she's older how she will be ordering him around.

He is never going to stop this. All you can do is make it harder for him to continue it by loading him up with chores. Does he not have a job?

Time for her

to make her own lunch.

I think it's time you only

I think it's time you only buy food you like and let your DH shop for himself and his precious pwincess...

I do this. I do make sure we

I do this. I do make sure we have basics: milk, bread, eggs, fruit, veggies. Anything else is on others to write on the fridge note list or go to the store with me. Oh, wait - I got rid of the store list because I was "being too militant" about it. I guess if you don't go to store alone or with me then I no longer get it.

So no more grocery list for anyone but myself.

Lunchables are bad but so is

Lunchables are bad but so is pizza and Mac and cheese. Equally unhealthy. Is there anything healthier that she can eat?