IMO, kids should earn their way to college, not have money handed to them. My SD had a college fund from her late BM and got into a big name school that costs over $30k a year since her BM went there. She didn't earn her way in. She didn't earn that money. Everything was handed to her. Because of where she went to college, she's set for life and the cycle will continue. My Dh's grandkids have more in their college savings accounts then my kids do and they're in high school. My kids aren't going to get to go to an Ivy league school, but at least they're going to have a work ethic and know they earned their college degrees.

There isn't a right or wrong answer here. What works for one family, may not work for others.

Some families are able and willing to pay for their kids education.
Some families are able but not willing to pay.
Some kids have to go the CC route.
Some kids can go to a 4 year school, but must live at home or remain in state.
Some kids must work while taking classes.
Some kids are only allowed to work during the summers.

If a college education is important to kids and/or parents, they will find a way to make it work. Making it work is different for everyone.

I planned from day one for my son to attend college. He was going to graduate in June and I was taking him to an HBCU in August. Every class he took in middle and high school was selected with that goal in mind.

The common equation I hear and DH and I decided to follow was 1/3 out of savings, 1/3 in loans and 1/3 out of pocket. The out of pocket expenses being shared by the student of course. Our 2 older ones are in college now (oldest in law school) and they, through thier hard work, got full scholarships both. Perfectson22, the oldest, even got a full ride to law school! (and it's a good one too) So we haven't had to do the loan part of the equation thank God. If my kids fucked around and only qualified for community college, then all this would be out the window and that would be on them. I'm actually taking a class a semester of continuing education in my field at our local CC, I enjoy it immensley but it IS really just adult babysitting! And you can imagine how I get teased by my 2 oldest! lol

I asked the question about who pays for college on a different post. I think that all of the responses were helpful, just as these are. As Disneyfan points out, each family is different - values, boundaries, expectations, income, etc. My concern is how a stepmother with no biokids of her own and a good salary might fit into the college equation. Unfortunately, it seems like a "damned if you do, damned if you don't" situation. But, perhaps that surrounds much of being a stepmom. Thanks to you all!

I am a lady, BM IMO would pay half of each third. In a perfect world. (hehe) }:)

Well ir is different for every familly I supposed, but as far as I am concerned, education is a priority. And my children will all go to college, and will have that opportunity granted by us as their parents. My mother paid for my college education and so did her parents for hers. For many people going to college is a right, not a privilege. It depends on your set of values I guess, but I feel that my role as a parent does not expire when my child turns 18. Having a parent who shares those values, does not mean your are spoilt or have you life handed to you. Now if you can't afford that or personally don't believe that, then that's fine. But that does not mean that anyone who has that opportunity is an entitled brat. Just my two cents.