Mediation AGAIN tomorrow BM is pissing me the hell off.

Well, SO goes to mediation AGAIN tomorrow, last time was in March, BM didn't like the ref's reccommendation, tried to take him to court, was convinced at the last minute by her lawyer to try mediation again and here we are!

How many times do you guys think is reasonable for BM to keep disagreeing with the ref before the judge just gives us what we want? Because I can guarantee that BM is going to NOT like what the ref. reccomends AGAIN.

Nothing has changed since March as well. In March, she took him to mediation to lower SO's parenting time to every other weekend from the every 4 days for 2 days that we have her right now because

a) SHE called CPS on me with false allegations, somehow this means I am abusive
b) The current schedule is "inconvienent" for her and SO is always late to exchange...false
c) the current schedule is "confusing" for SD3and a half

NOW she is trying to still reduce his time to every other weekend but the only difference is she has even LESS to go on because her lawyer dropped the CPS stuff, IN FRONT of the ref!

So she's going to go in there and tell this guy, no you're wrong, this is still inconvienent FOR ME. She is an absolute moron.

If she tries to fight his reccommendation again we are just going to counter file for 50/50.

The plan was to wait until SD was in school full time OR BM moved again whichever came first (because both would be a good change in circumstances) and the current schedule was supposed to just be a stepping stone towards that.

Now BM is up to her usual tactics, telling SO that "if this doesn't go to mediation or court I will give you EVERY weekend, you better take this it's a good deal for you. but if you don't agree than I will lower your time to every OTHER weekend in front of the judge"

LOL as if she has that power. And I have that email saved (well every email that shes ever sent)

should I print that out for SO to show to the mediator?

What are the odds of the mediator siding with her this time? Even though nothing has changed and things are actually MORE in our favor this time?

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I should include that I have

I should include that I have had SO go to the exchange spot early (the parking lot next to a fast food place) and order something small so that he has a time stamped receipt, that was we can at least prove that he hasn't been late since March lol.

This is a great idea too!

This is a great idea too! Good work

If she wants to go to court

If she wants to go to court and fight over this petty crap, let her. It's been my understanding based on everything I've read over time that as long as the dad WANTS custody, and proves to be a good parent (or at least not unfit), the judge won't take time away from him (barring distance, school schedules, etc. which aren't the case for you it seems).

Let her throw her hissy fits. Let her hire a lawyer and take it to court. I agree that you should counter and ask for as much as you can possibly get. Why not, right? }:)

Also, if you want to be the

Also, if you want to be the primary custodial parents for when the kid does get to be school age, it's best to set that precedent now. It's harder to change once school enrollments come into the mix.

I'm not sure if it is the

I'm not sure if it is the same mediator as before, it's the same company though and I can't imagine they have an unlimited supply for our county lol

and for becoming primary for when she starts school, we just wanted 50/50 but BM moves so much (usually every time she gets a new boyfriend, shes on number 5 or 6 since SD was born), what do you think we should do? Because our school district is one of the tops in the country, BM lives in next town over but NOT a good school district and we've talked about this alot, but since BM has primary SD would automatically go to BM's school district, SO has half legal custody though so he should get a say right?

I wish, I don't think it

I wish, I don't think it would work that way unless we had 50/50 BEFORE she starts school you know?

I would start with getting

I would start with getting the 50/50 physical custody. You can petition for the other stuff at the same time as 50/50 though .. it doesn't always have to be separate court appearances.

right now it is a 2-4-2-4

right now it is a 2-4-2-4 schedule, like I said it was supposed to be a stepping stone for 50/50 for when SD starts kindergarten (she is 3 and a half right now). It's been this way for almost a year.

I think BM just wants to lower his time because she lives with her boyfriend and her BF only sees HIS kids every other weekend so she is trying to sync up the two schedules. umm tough shit that your boyfriend only sees his kids 4 days a month, not going to happen with SO.

And yes, she prolly thinks she will get more CS but what she doesn't realize is SO hasn't changed the CS since this order went into effect. Before he was getting SD LESS than every other weekend, only every Sunday plus an odd day here and there. So if she tries to get more CS she is in for the sad reality that she will actually be getting less lol

Our BM is in the same boat.

Our BM is in the same boat. She wants to have CS modified before her latest raise is effective. What she doesn't realize is that the CO actually gives DH way more time than she thinks.

She thinks because they have "joint custody" and our state defines joint custody as neither parent having less than 35% of the year, that DH only gets the skids 35% of the year. That's not the case at all .. but she's convinced that this is some rule. CO doesn't mention this 35% anywhere .. but DOES lay out all the time DH gets with the skids (closer to 43%). While it doesn't seem like a big difference, it actually makes a HUGE difference in the CS calculation.