So, I've decided to try a different approach to how I handle BM. I've tried it before and ended up getting my feelings hurt but I think this time will be different.

I'm sick of being bitter and hating her. It's not healthy for my anxiety to hate someone so much you know? It's draining. And I kind of understand where her craziness comes from...I have panic disorder and have been known to be irrational at times but still...

SO and I realize now that she does NOT have a lawyer. She has threatened to "take us back to court" so many times over ridiculous things and we have called her bluff EVERY TIME and nothing has happened.

I think that if I just keep playing nice we will end up with the time we want in the long run you know. Just a year ago she was telling SO that he "would never have 2 overnights in a row with SD because our house isn't safe".

And with all my careful planning and documenting, we got her to agree to a 2-4-2-4 schedule OUT OF COURT.

I'm just going to keep being nice to her and have her think I'm the kindest person in the world, because even though I can't argue with crazy...deep down the nicer I am to her, she may eventually come around and realize I am just trying to do whats best for SD.

She called today and SO was at work so I talked to her for a bit. I got an email this morning from SO's aunt that the cable company SO used to work for is hiring again for a better position and SO should apply so I told him about it.

SO worked for this company and I was so proud of him for FINALLY leaving the bar that he works at but then he ended up quitting and going back to the bar because BM wouldn't let him see SD anymore because his job didn't work with her schedule

So I was talking to BM today and I asked her if maybe she wanted to come over and have a chat with SO and I to touch base and discuss some things. I told her that there were some potential changes happening in our lives and we wanted her input.

Because SO WANTS to go back to this company but he'll be damned if BM is going to take SD away again. And I will be doubly damned. Especially considering that the reason she called to talk in the first place was to talk about alternative childcare because the daycare is charging her DOUBLE what she thought this month. so it would be 60 bucks to each of them instead of 30 :/

I'm going to bring up 50/50 again to get a feel for where she is mentally this week She's coming over Thursday afternoon (we have SD tomorrow through Friday).

So there it is, most of you are going to say I'm being stupid but I think this could work. It worked in the past. I'm just tired of fighting and I think all she really needs is validation. She's always friendlier if you tell her shes a good mom or something so we'll see