Last Spring Break with SS
We had Spring Break with the SKs last week. It's SS last one as he graduates in June. Overall probably the easiest visit. No drama. No demands via BM through the kid. No big surprises. Kinda chill visit. (Thank you Jesus)
My DH was able to have the weekend and two work days off but the remaining 3 days the kids spent with me until he got home.
It's habit for me to ask before leaving the house if they have remembered deoderant and to brush their teeth. They are 13 and 17 years old. I shouldn't have to ask, but SS is a slob and lazy AF. I don't wanna single him out so I just ask both.
One of the days we were leaving the house I ran through my typical routine before leaving, dog, back door locked, etc. Both kids chimed yes to the regular question.
I run back to bathroom as I'd left my sunglasses in there and their toothbrushes are in the holder my glasses are sitting next to. I graze one of them with my hand as I grabbed my glasses and it's bone dry. I check the other kid's ...bone dry. They suppposedly had just brushed their teeth moments before me asking. One of them even went back to the bathroom to do it. (insert eyeroll). I walk the brushes out to them and hand them to each kid and say feel that and tell me again how you just brushed your teeth. They giggle and then go brush.WTF. Both lied (not a huge lie I admit but still) to my freakin face without missing a beat. Like WOW I would never have known and how much other crap do you lie about that I'd never know.
It's a small thing, but I'm super glad this is the last visit with SS before he ages out. SD is typically the one I don't worry about as she takes care of her teeth and has braces. I guess when she gets back from Summer DH is going to have to be on her a little more like a hawk.
The lying is a bigger problem and while SS is basically done and is what he is, SD needs DH to give her a good talking to about lying. It's gonna be a problem if she is that good at it at this age. They have a good relationship and DH is pretty soft but I see trouble ahead if he doesn't address it STAT. YES he should have while here for SB but we all know with the little bit of time how some of these dads don't wanna ruin it and be the bad guy. Summer he has a longer period of time with her.
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LoL. I used to do the hygiene
LoL. I used to do the hygiene quiz and checks before I took the SDs anywhere too. Until the lies and arguing was too much and DH didn't back me up. So no more checks. I would just not go anywhere with them if they smelled or looked dirty. Or actually were dirty.
DH didn't see the point in teaching habits. He doesn't really have them either so there's my answer, but he doesn't see me as a parent. He does make himself presentable before we leave the house though and brushes his teeth. He didn't start getting on OSDs case until her breath was so vile he couldn't even sit next to her normally without smelling her (I avoided sitting near her) and my the arguments he had with her. She just refused to brush her teeth or shower if she didn't feel like it. YSD is better, but still only showers about three times a week, maximum, at 16, (she's only smelled up my car once which was handled) and only brushes her teeth at night.
Been there
SS used to lie about brushing his teeth when he was younger (like 10), and I could tell his toothbrush was dry. DH would say "well it probably dried after he brushed". Yes DH, in 30 minutes, it became bone dry. *eyeroll* Luckily, DH is HUGE on hygiene, so he has yelled at these skids so much that they now know better than to not brush or shower.
Still, we are dealing with the same lying from SS-almost-16. It feels constant, and it just rolls off his tongue. I catch it more than DH does, but DH seems to think I'm always on SS's case, so if I pointed it out every time we would always be arguing about SS and I just can't. I make the big things known to DH, let him handle it, and also had a talk with SS about how he we don't lie in this house and going forward I expect that he won't (for all that is worth), and now I just count down the years until I don't have to deal with it anymore...
Luckily SD13 is so honest she tells on herself even if she knows she will get in trouble. lol. Hoping it stays that way!
I don't get why teethbrushing
I don't get why teethbrushing is SUCH an issue with difficult skids! I never even questioned NOT brushing my teeth from a young age because it felt good to have clean teeth - not to mention the fresh breath. Maybe it's how I was raised but there seems to be such resistance to the basics it's midboggling.