My husband and I work opposite shifts so we don't have to pay daycare for our two boys. I pretty much haven't seen him in about a month and a half for more than 20-45 minutes at a time. Yesterday I called into work because I have been working more than a week straight and just needed a day off. H, because right now he is not dear, also had yesterday and today off. Pretty much these whole two days has been spent with him bitching. Bitching that we have no money, which this is the same fuckwad who at 22 has to be given a cash only allowance because he can't be trusted with our joint account debit card. I m trying to push our way out of debt quickly so that we can have a hope of buying a house in six years, he wants a house now and doesn't care that we spend over a thousand dollars a month of payments for bills that can be cut in half in just two months. He has no concept of financial planning but has the balls to bitch when we have no money. Then the ass clown messes up the entire kitchen AFTER I cleaned it today during his infrequent tyraids about how mess the house is. Might I mention his housekeeping skills are minimal and we have two small child, I work nights and get up with the kids every morning at 7. I get 6 hours of sleep on a GOOD day. Then, this is the part that really pissed me off, he tells me (supposedly joking) that if I don,'t have the kitchen cleaned by the time I have to go to work tomorrow he won't give me the keys to my car (legally only my car. It is not a joint car, he uses it but only my name is on the title and loan) so I would have to walk over 3 miles and be late to work. I didn't say anything at the time because it was so flabbergasting I couldn't even comprehend that he would say something like this. We were laying in bed and I very calmly, choosing my words very carefully so it wouldn't sound like an attack told him that the joke he made hurt my feelings, was degrading, inappropriate and completely uncalled for. He lost it. Start saying that I needed to stop being such a child, that sometimes in life people make jokes that we don't find funny but we need to be adults and get over it. When I then pointed out, still calm, that as his wife he should have more respect for my feelings especially when it comes to treating me like a disrespectful teen who didn't do her chores he actually YELLED that I needed to calm down and to get over it. I started getting upset because he just wasn't getting it. I tried to approach him without making it sound judgemental but he still flew off the handle bars. I am so freaking pissed right now all I want to do is fly home to Washington and leave him to freeze his balls off in Alaska. I normally don't make a big deal about his 'jokes' because it never gets us anywhere. He's too stubborn and bullheaded to get it through his brain that it isn't all about him. Honestly, our entire relationship has always been all about him. Not about our kids or us but all about him and what he wants to do. When we were living in Washington I had decided that I would give him a year after we moved to figure his stuff out, to realise that being a disrespectful jerk got us absolutely no where. I should have most, if not all, the bills paid off by next year. If things don't start becoming more of a team sport instead of just me being the only adult I might have to leave for my own sanity as well as the adult our son will grow up to be if he sees his father treating me this way...